Hidden
by Ravynfeather
Summary: Skulduggery Pleasant meets Artemis Fowl... Just something I thought up. This story is constantly being written then rewritten : P It was recently rewritten 3/8/2014
1. A Guilty Redezvous

**Rewriting because screw the rules, I have no life. And sorry to everyone who actually enjoyed this… I thought it wasn't well liked. I looked at its stats the other day and realized I was wrong, ha ha… So I'm rewriting it for the few people who enjoy it. c":**

**I would like to thank everyone who has stuck with me on this and also everyone who just so happens to stumble upon this. I don't know when, I don't know how, but I WILL finish this story. I vowed that I would finish it before any other literary work.**

**Changed some names due to uncomfort / stubbornness. Deal with it. In fact, a lot of things will have changed, including the grammar, vocabulary and my writing style~**

**Note that the Megamind OST fits this story way too well.**

**Prologue**

"Artemis Fowl the II: You have been accused of treason and theft against the Sanctuary of Ireland and the People of the Lower Elements. You are responsible for the murder of one sorcerer and two cleavers." The youngest male Elder leaned forward expectantly. "How do you plead?"

The youth looked up from the small metal chair he was placed on. His blazer had disappeared since Ghastly Bespoke had last seen him, less than a week ago, and his dress shirt was tucked into his pants without much care. The front of his shirt was covered with his own dried blood, as were his arms, revealed by the dress shirt's sleeves that had been rolled up to his elbows. His pants were tattered and torn, his hair in disarray.

Ghastly looked down at this human child, wondering how things could have _possibly_ gotten this dark.

"I'm guessing pleading insanity won't work with you people?" Artemis Fowl asked, his voice calm. He was staring at Ghastly intensely.

"Are you giving us attitude?" Elder Bespoke raised an eyebrow as, he too, leaned forward. This was a bit new to him, really. Elders didn't normally put people on trial – In fact, they _didn't_ put people on trial. If an Elder knew someone was guilty, they threw them in a cell and that's where they stayed until their time was up. But this was a bit different of matter.

"I am expressing multiple attitudes simultaneously. To which are you referring?"

"That's _enough_," The woman stopped the other Elder before he could speak. "_How do you plead_, human?"

Artemis Fowl slightly tilted his head to the side, angering Ghastly with a small, satisfied smile. "I plead guilty."

* * *

><p><em>Dublin<em>_, Ireland_

_Four days and one night ago_

Spring Heeled Jack jumped easily across the rooftops in Haggard, his feet barely making a sound on the roof tiles. He stopped abruptly on a house that overlooked a large forest that's closed off to citizens. The London Terror hadn't strayed all this way from his cozy home for just a view, though – He had come to this slummish neighborhood for a very important meeting with a very important person, thus making it very important that he actually made it _on time_. He took a deep breath and straightened his crooked top hat before jumping lightly off the building and landing on the grass beyond the yard of the house. He had to make it across a stretch of grass before reaching the forest. Luckily, this meeting was well worth it.

Jumping into the trees, he checked behind himself just to make sure that no one had noticed him and was following. It wasn't very likely, since this neighborhood wasn't exactly littered with home owners worried about their things being stolen… When he was satisfied that he would be left unbothered, he hurried through the branches, feeling more like a squirrel than a… well, whatever he was.

It was a while before he finally stopped. Had he continued, he would have jumped right into a large clearing that opened up in front of him. He knew this was the place he was supposed to be because the clearing, of course, was not empty – Though the people who mulled around inside of it were definitely not what Jack expected. All of them were children… though Jack knew better. Looks are deceiving. They ignored him as he joined them – all except one.

A young man, maybe eighteen or nineteen, with long, jet black hair and blood red eyes looked up at Jack lazily. He was sprawled out in the grass, one leg crossed over the other. "What do you want?" He asked in a bored voice as he played with his own hair. Two other children glanced over at the boy, then to Jack, before going back to their subject of interest. A girl, maybe seven or eight, was intently watching the girl next to her who was in her early teens and seemed to be sharpening a rapier. The third girl was sitting under a tree, watching the blade of a short sword that she was twirling, completely ignoring Jack.

"I'm Spring Heeled Jack," The London Terror announced importantly, pressing the palm of his hand against his chest and standing tall. _Make a good impression. This is the moment_.

"Yeah," The boy looked away, focusing on the sky above them. "We know." He let his hand drop to the grass beneath him.

There was an awkward silence. Jack cleared his throat and rolled from the balls of his feet to his tiptoes. "I have a meeting with your leader…" He started casually, feeling unusually uncomfortable in the silence.

"And it took you long enough to get here, too…" The girl under the tree snorted condescendingly. She twirled the weapon once more before getting to her feet and sheathing it all in one graceful movement. She looked no older than the boy. "I was beginning to think you'd run into trouble."

"Oh, I'm fine." Jack waved her off bashfully. "Don't worry about me."

"I never said I was worrying," Her red eyes were filled with a mixture of boredom and tolerance. _Tolerance_. She was _tolerating_ Spring Heeled Jack.

Jack shot a grin her way and tipped his hat slightly. "My apologies, then, ma'am. The Sanctuary Agents are getting harder and harder to slip past unnoticed, these days."

"That's because they're idiots – And so are you." She crossed her arms as she approached him. "Really, I would have just killed them."

"… That defeats the purpose of slipping by unnoticed."

"Luckily for me, I don't have that problem…" She turned to the boy, who was now getting to his feet. "Venatari, take Kelly and Chew somewhere else. This is a private conversation." She barely glanced at him before saying: "Get Nia over here, while you're at it."

The boy, Venatari, nodded and waited until Chew and Kelly had joined him before they quietly exited the clearing.

The leader turned back to Spring Heeled Jack and raised her thin eyebrows skeptically. "So? What is so important that you must take up my time?"

"Well, it didn't really look like you had more pressing matters to attend to, honestly." Jack screwed his mouth to one side and shrugged at her. "You actually looked really comfortable. I feel a little bad for making you get up."

She shifted from one foot to the other and sighed irritably. "I can see this is just a joke to you…" She rolled her eyes. "If you're done, you know the way home."

"Sorry," Jack grinned again. "That was a little bit of sarcasm. Liven up a bit, yeah?"

She just stared angrily at him.

Jack cleared his throat awkwardly again and muttered, this time seriously, under his breath "Sorry…" He took a second to look her over, since this was technically their first meeting. He'd seen her before… The first time had been through a mug shot. The second time was through a photo - And not a very accurate one, at that. It was more like a cell phone picture, very pixelated and blurry. It still convinced him to opt out of a fight, and that's all that mattered, he supposed.

She was tall with long, straight, red hair that was pulled into a braid at the base of her neck. Her eyes, like Venatari's, were red – Except her eyes were slit like a feline's, letting in all the light the night had to offer. She was thin enough that Jack could see her muscles from where he stood, which were subtle, but the London Terror knew they were only what scratched the surface of her strength. On her face and arms, she had many black tattoos that swirled across her skin, marking her out as the leader. They almost seemed to ripple, like a bed of seaweed when the sea gently rolls across it. And, despite the fact that she looked like a human teenager, Jack still wouldn't want to get into a fight with her.

_This is it,_ Jack thought to himself._ Now it's time for the little speech I've been practicing. Oh the mirrors I've broken for this moment…_

"Ms. Neala," He began solemnly. "You know quite well that I'm not one of those people who'd easily be pushed about by the Sanctuary. You know I _like_ my freedom, and that I've been fighting for it for a long time. You know—"

"Yes, yes. I seem know a _lot_ of things. Quit being boring and get to the point."

"How would you like to help me expose magic to mortals, hm?" Jack asked very casually and very bluntly, afraid he'd already lost her.

Immediately, her interest was perked. "You want me to help you expose the most powerful force in the universe to the weakest force, which will ultimately end up in anarchy, disorganization and possibly war?" She nodded thoughtfully and said to herself "Tempting, actually…" To Jack, she asked "You want _me_ to do this?"

"Well, there are more of us," Jack offered, feeling a bit more confident.

From behind Neala, a voice spoke up. "More of 'us'?" Jack glanced behind the leader at the speaker – A tall girl from Japan that Jack remembered quite well. Her name was Nia and she hadn't changed since the last time Jack met her; long black hair, thin frame and cold eyes.

Jack, not caring for formalities, simply nodded. "More people who are ready to earn our rightful place in this world, again."

Nia walked up to Neala, who didn't bother explaining as Nia had obviously overheard enough to understand what's going on. "What do you think, Nia?" Neala murmured thoughtfully.

"I'd like to know who the 'others' are before we agree to anything," Nia responded in her cold voice, not looking away from Jack.

"Dusk and his vampires, Vaurien Scapegrace—"

"Scapegrace?" Neala interrupted. "Isn't he a zombie, now?"

"He is…" Jack answered reluctantly.

"Scapegrace, of all people, can actually do something to help us? He's falling to pieces and you think he can help us?"

"One way or another… yes."

"He'll completely disintegrate before he can be of any use."

"Not if you heal him…?"

The corner of Neala's mouth twitched upwards. "That's so cute…" She muttered quietly. "'Heal Scapegrace'… You crack me up." Seriously, she said: "Ena is gone. And even if we _did_ have her still, what makes you think we'd waste her energy on _Scapegrace_?"

"I know it's asking a lot from you, especially since Scapegrace's IQ has less digits than his height, but once we succeed… you can dispose of him any way you want." Jack cleared his throat again. "As I was saying, I have Dusk and his vampires, Scapegrace, a few sorcerers and necromancers, a few miscellaneous other pending requests… Oh, right - And a pixie by the name of Opal Koboi."

"A pixie?" Neala grew curious again. "An actual pixie?"

"She is, I admit, quite an ally…" Jack looked at her hopefully. "So are you going to help out or not?"

Neala glanced at Nia, who traded a thoughtful look with her leader. There was an awkward silence as Jack waited patiently for an answer.

If they agreed, magic, without a doubt, would be exposed to humans. Sure, there would be chaos, and sure, some people might die… But it was all for a good cause. And the first thing Jack would do is strut down the street without worry of someone trying to hit him with a purse or car… He almost smiled at the thought of it.

Neala looked back at Jack. After eyeing him suspiciously, she nodded reluctantly. "I'll _think_ about it."


	2. Intellectual Stuff

**Fail, Fowl, fail.**

**Note that almost everything Artemis says is a joke between a friend and I. Deal with it.**

**Chapter One**

_Fowl Manor, Ireland_

A young boy around the age of fourteen sat in a large oak wood desk, typing diligently on the computer. Artemis Fowl the II had been searching a new project – A far more taxing and far more dangerous project. Taxing because of the effort it took to get the information he needed, and dangerous because of the contents of this information. The youth had already met fairies and pixies and dwarfs and goblins… But it was all too normal for him. He already felt like he could write a textbook on the subject… It was like it was something he'd been around his whole life.

Besides, he had a desperate and constant need for distraction.

Artemis had been researching something called a Dryud – A powerful being that is a mixture between two things: A Dryad (A forest or tree nymph) and a Druid (A powerful sorcerer who is closely linked to the earth and animals that inhabit it). He figured that, if he could track one of these things down, he could help the People or even just have comfort knowing he had powerful backup when he needed it. But, first and foremost, he needed the Dryuds' help. He's heard a little piece of gossip and needs to know that he has the Dryuds on his side when he needs them.

"How goes it?" Butler, Artemis' bodyguard and long-time friend, asked as he walked into the room, holding a plate containing a single mangled sandwich. He set it down on the table for the boy.

The young Fowl saved all the information he'd gathered onto a highly advanced memory stick before closing his laptop and sighing. "There isn't much information on Dryuds. It seems they've almost been erased from all records, sadly…"

"But I'm guessing you've managed to find some information anyways?"

"Of course. Who do you think I am?"

"Are you going to tell me how?"

"Why would I do that? It would ruin the mystery."

"Can I guess?"

"Of course, old friend."

Butler looked thoughtful as Artemis smiled smugly. Eventually, the bodyguard spoke. "Maybe… you've found someone with access to a vat of information on the Dryuds? Someone like Foaly, perhaps?"

"…" Artemis sat in the cushioned chair, staring blankly at his old friend. His facial expression suddenly became irritated. "It's not as easy as it sounds," He declared stubbornly, glaring at Butler. "A lot of time and energy went into it."

"Sorry to steal your thunder,"

"You should be," Artemis scoffed before glancing at his closed laptop. "Even though there isn't much information on Dryuds, well… _anywhere_… I have managed to find something called a 'Sanctuary'. There should be more information there. Unfortunately, the people who run the Sanctuaries are the ones keen on keeping the humans and innocents as uninvolved in magic as they can. So it really won't be as easy to gain access to this information as I had initially hoped. It's certainly easier that getting to the Lower Elements, grant you, but my point is still valid."

Butler's only facial reaction to this was the raise of his left eyebrow. "So… we're _not_ going underground again?"

"No, old friend. The Sanctuary entrances are mainly above ground… From what I've read, there aren't many that are completely located underground, let alone beneath the Earth's Crust." Artemis reassured his friend.

"And no one's noticed that there are unusually short people with pointy ears walking around in these buildings?"

"I assume you're talking about fairies – I know, it's unusual to hear about someone with magic that is taller than four feet." Artemis leaned back in his chair and tented his fingers under his nose. "The people that run the Sanctuaries are _not_, in fact, fairies. But they aren't mortal, either. They look like everyday people – Like you or me." He glanced Butler up and down, frowning. "Well, maybe not you and me. But you get my point." Butler nodded, towering far above the extremely pale Artemis. "Anyways, they look normal, so they can blend in with human society quite well. That's why they weren't banished along the People so long ago."

"So these people are like… wizards?" Butler looked at Artemis skeptically.

"Nothing out of Harry Potter, I assure you. And they're sorcerers, to be a bit more precise." Artemis corrected automatically. He was used to correcting most adults on a daily basis. "I've found out there used to be a Sanctuary in a town here in Ireland called Haggard. You should know where that is," Artemis got to his feet, glanced at the sandwich on the table, and preceded to leave the room. "The Sanctuary was destroyed not too long ago, with no information on how. Now there's one in a small town called Roarhaven."

"Roarhaven?" The bodyguard echoed as he accompanied his charge out of the room. "Never heard of it."

"Surprisingly enough… neither have I."

"So if this organization is as secretive as you say, how'd you get all this information?"

"Guess."

"Foaly…?"

"No."

"I'm guessing you won't just tell me…"

Artemis stopped and gave his bodyguard and exasperated glance. "It'll _ruin_ the _mystery_, Butler." He gestured with his hands to emphasize and punctuate his words. He gave Butler a sad shake of the head that said 'Get with the program,' before continuing down the stairs.

Butler sighed as he followed Artemis down the grand staircase. "So now what?" He asked.

"Now we get into the Sanctuary and get more information on the Dryuds. This way, we can approach them knowing what we're getting ourselves into…"

"And how do we get this information? It's not like we can just up and walk in there, demanding they tell us…"

"Pick a name."

"… Excuse me?"

"Pick a name. Something humans wouldn't normally use – But nothing ridiculous. I won't let myself be seen accompanied with someone who has a silly name."

"If this is a joke, Artemis, I don't get it."

"Fine," Artemis stopped and looked at Butler thoughtfully. There was an odd silence before Artemis finally said "Andrew Wheatley."

"See, I'm having one of those moments where I doubt your sanity, again…" Butler cautiously followed Artemis towards the front door. "Are you going to explain this to me, Artemis?"

"No – Not Artemis. Michael Cohen…"

"Start explaining…"

"We need the sorcerers and such to believe we've already Sealed our names. Sealing a name prevents other powerful beings from using you like a tool. If they find our real names and discover we haven't Sealed them, our project will be brought to a complete halt." Artemis stood in front of the mirror that was beside the grandiose front doors. "Butler," He said as he smoothed out his collar and blazer. "We're going to Roarhaven."

"Wonderful, Artemis." Butler said sarcastically. "But you've forgotten something."

"I forget nothing. I'm completely prepared for this."

"You forgot the sandwich."

"I didn't forget it," Artemis gestured to the front door. "Body guards first."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I didn't forget it and then I casually tried to change the subject by letting you leave the building first."

"Are you insulting my culinary skills?"

"Actually, I was tactfully avoiding the subject. But, since you brought it up, yes. I'm insulting your culinary skills. Had you not insisted so much on the subject, you could have brushed it off." He gestured for Butler to leave the house. "Come on, we don't have all day."

Butler reluctantly exited the house to check for danger and starting the car to check for bombs and such.

"You should really get some tips from Holly or Mother. Mother would appreciate the company and I hear Holly makes a smashing tarantula burger." Artemis called from the doorway.

"That's disgusting," Butler called bluntly, gesturing that all was safe and for Artemis to come over.

"Strange. That was my exact thought when I took a glance at that sandwich…"

"You know, you're not exactly renowned for your cooking, either, Artemis."

Artemis thought back to the time he tried making a sandwich for a kleptomaniac dwarf named Mulch Diggums. The sandwich resembled the aftermath of an explosion, containing half a head of lettuce, two strangled pieces of bread and a piece of torn lunch ham that Artemis couldn't manage to get out of the bag, which refused to open against his will. "That's because I'm a child genius, not a child cook. And at least it was my first try – What's your excuse? My sandwich was edible was it not?" He entered the Bentley after Butler.

"You're saying this… on the word of a dwarf…"

"A critique, Butler. Not a very good one, but it was a critique nonetheless."

Butler shook his head and sighed, deciding it was probably a good idea to change the subject, right about now. "So what are you going to tell your parents?" He asked.

"I've sent a thoroughly convincing E-mail to Mother via my principal's account, explaining our sudden trip."

"What's the excuse?"

"A week of Community Service in Venezuela,"

"That's generous,"

"I have a big heart." Artemis leaned back in in his seat, closing his eyes. "Drive on, Butler – There's at least four hours in the very least worth of driving ahead of us and we have yet to infiltrate a Sanctuary."


	3. A Sanctuary for Knowledge

**Ah, Arty… You're such a dork… **

**Chapter Two**

Artemis and Butler slowly pulled into a small town. A dark town. Rank. Really, it couldn't be stressed enough how much this place looked like something straight out of a Tim Burton movie. Artemis felt completely out of place in the classic Bentley as they slowed to a complete stop in front of a battered circular building. The suspicious town was built next to a small, stagnant river with opaque waters. Dead grass and trees didn't do much for the view, either.

"Are you sure this is it, Artemis?" Butler asked skeptically, turning to the youth. Artemis raised his eyebrow at him. "This doesn't exactly _look_ like some big, secret community, if you'll excuse my ignorance..." The bodyguard muttered and got out of the car, checked the surrounds, then gave Artemis the OK to get out, too. He stared at the building in front of them. "How do you suppose we're getting in?"

"Well, Mr. Wheatley," Artemis drawled, rocking back in the heels of his loafers. "I propose we just _walk_ right in. I mean, there's a door _right there_…"

"No… elaborate plans? No secret entrances? Are you ill?"

"Perhaps," Artemis shrugged. "It's never been disproved… But that's irrelevant to the subject at hand." Artemis started into the building, casually opening the door and leaving Butler behind. Worried for Artemis' safety and wary of these new, unknown surroundings, Butler rushed after him.

"Artemis, I really—"

"No, no. You have to call me by my fake name, Butler. Remember?" He shook his head sadly. "I swear, you're losing you memory faster than we thought…"

Butler really tried not to grind his teeth in an attempt to snap back. "_Michael_," He growled. "What are we going to do if we're attacked?"

"You've taken down a troll single-handedly. I'm going to let you cover the field of battle tactics, today."

They entered a fairly large room. Both of them hurried along as they were stared down by men in gray suits and helmets with large visors. Despite the extremely lethal-looking scythes on their backs, the reminded Artemis of an LEP suit… Just a smidgen.

"Well, then…" Artemis avoided looking at one of the suited men. "Those are some really sharp weapons."

"You don't say…" Butler muttered under his breath.

"Don't worry – I've come prepared in case something of the sort was to happen."

"Yeah?"

"Indeed – Just continue what we spoke of, Mr. Wheatley, and we should be fine."

"… I'm brimming with confidence, Mr. Cohen. I truly am." Butler muttered, reaching into his coat and pulling out the pair of sunglasses from his pocket. He slipped them on and looked around the room. In the middle were three thrones. Sitting in each throne was a person in robes: One woman, two men. One of the men was bald and had ragged scars all across his face. All of them, however, stared down at Artemis and Butler wide-eyed.

A short man in a gray suit stalked angrily up to them. "And who might you be?" He demanded. He was pale with an even paler scalp, shown only by his receding hairline. He was obviously trying to battle with his height, as he had heeled loafers on that raised his height an inch or two. It did nothing for him.

Artemis straightened his back. "I am Michael Cohen."

The man gasped. "_The_ Michael Cohen?"

Worry flashed through Artemis like lightening. Had he chose a name someone already claimed? Or was it the name of some historic or important figure? "You've heard of me?" Artemis asked cautiously.

"Of course not! Who in the bloody hell are you and why do you think you can just waltz right in here with your behemoth friend _without_ a reservation?"

Artemis nodded slowly. "I can fully understand your confusion."

The man waited another few moments, obviously waiting for an explanation. Eventually, he snapped and turned to the three people who were watching the confrontation from their places on the thrones. The two men were struggling to hide their grins. The woman had a veil on, so it was hard to tell what her expressions was – Judging by her composure, Artemis was sure she wasn't concealing a grin. "Will you just order the Cleavers to escort these blokes out, already?" The balding man demanded.

They shrugged. The woman looked like she was on a fine line between furious and amused. "Is that any way to speak to an Elder, Tipstaff? Or have the rules and regulations slipped you?" She calmly asked the small man, her voice chillingly smooth.

"I _apologize_, Madame Mist…" Tipstaff shuddered and took a breath, looking to the scarred man. "Elder Bespoke? Would you be so kind as to get these _morons_ out of here?"

"Why would we do that?" The younger Elder asked, his gold eyes brimming with entertainment. Obviously, they needed something like this in their day.

Tipstaff to a moment to compose himself before slowly walking over to the Elders. The spoke quietly so Artemis and Butler couldn't hear. Luckily, Artemis was an avid student in the art of lip-reading.

"They're obviously here to cause trouble," Tipstaff said, his body language telling Artemis that he'd rather be doing something other than dealing with a kid.

"What makes you say that?" The young Elder asked, musing Tipstaff.

Angrily, Tipstaff said: "They're _mortals_!"

Artemis didn't spare a glance at Butler. He didn't look away from the conversation. They were caught – The only thing they could do now was wait and see what the Elders decided.

"Then why weren't they shredded by Cleavers, hm?" Elder Bespoke asked. He got up from his seat with a badly hidden grin on his face. "I will speak to them privately. The rest of the Elders should remain here." He walked up to Artemis and Butler. Surprisingly, he was almost as tall as Butler. "Mr. Cohen, is it?" He nodded to Artemis before turning to Butler. "And you are…?"

"Andrew Wheatley… your… Elderness?"

"Nobody calls us that."

"I realize that now."

Elder Bespoke gave a slightly confused nod before continuing. "Will you be willing to have a private conversation with me in the conference room? Bring your friend along, if you wish. We only need to discuss some things."

Artemis quickly butted into the conversation. "Yes, _I_ wouldn't mind discussing some things with you. _Me_."

Elder Bespoke looked from Artemis to Butler and back. "You're not his underling or something?"

"Of course not. If anything, he's _my_ underling."

Butler looked a little insulted.

The Elder seemed to accept this quickly, and started down one of the strangely modern and sterile-looking hallways. Artemis followed him quickly, trying desperately to make up for that ungraceful entrance. The room Elder Bespoke took them into was large with a long oak table and a dozen or so chairs lined neatly against the table. Elder Bespoke waited until they were all in the room before shutting and _locking_ the door behind them.

"Right then," He turned to Artemis and Butler, his friendly tone disappearing. "Would you mind explaining how two mortals managed to get into a hidden Sanctuary?"

Artemis didn't even try to look shocked. "You know, 'mortals' is a very demeaning title, Elder. Would you mind refraining from using it on us?"

"What would you prefer? The Magically Impaired?"

"Well, it does have a certain ring to it that 'mortals' lacks…"

Clearly not into chitchat and humor, right now, Elder Bespoke's facial expressions showed that he wasn't impressed. "You're not ordinary, are you?" He asked quietly. "You're the type of person who prefers risking their lives to the droll of everyday life. People like you don't understand how good you have it."

"I like to think of it as broadening my horizons," Artemis shrugged.

"So then why here? Why did you come to a Sanctuary?"

Artemis was suddenly all business. "We need some vital information that all other archives have omitted."

"On what?"

"The Dryuds."

Elder Bespoke stared at Artemis for a moment, perturbed by the mere mention of the hybrid fairies. "Why," He started slowly and seriously. "Would you _possibly_ need information about_ them_?"

"So I take it you've heard of them…"

"Of course I have. Every Elder needs to be properly educated on any possible threat to his or her community."

"Threat?"

"Dryuds," Elder Bespoke started, his words emphasized with vigor. "Are a slimy, sneaky, back-stabbing, lying group of _thieves_. No good has ever completely come from them. They're not to be trusted for the simple fact that they will never trust _you_."

"Would you be able to tell us what you know?" Artemis asked hopefully. "Then we'll leave."

"I really shouldn't tell you _anything_,"

"Well, would it make you feel better if I told you that I've previously had an abundance of contact with the People in the Lower Elements?" Artemis straightened his back. "You're right. I'm not an average mortal. I do prefer danger to the droll of everyday life. And I'm not helpless. I have backup-" He said as he gestured to Butler. "-And I also have something most people don't."

"And what's that?"

Artemis smiled and said simply: "Extended knowledge."

Elder Bespoke cracked a grin and nodded to Butler. "If you think he's going to be able to save you, you're wrong. The Dryuds will have your head _and_ his on a blade before you can even blink."

"Please, Elder." Artemis waved off the warnings and looked Bespoke in the eyes. "Tell us about the Dryuds. It doesn't matter what you say to try and get us off their trail – We're going to go speak to them. Better to educate us when you can then to let us die ignorantly."

There was a stiff silence as Elder Bespoke tried to make up his mind. He glanced from Artemis to Butler and back before finally sighing. "I can only tell you what I know," He muttered, capitulating to the boy's demands.

Artemis resisted the urge to smile smugly and sat down when he was gestured to. Butler remained standing.

"In Ireland, there are two factions of Dryuds: the Demon Coterie and the Public Coterie. The Public Coterie isn't _exactly_ 'public', but they have small settlements among the humans. They have a reputation for remaining neutral in a drastic situation and generally being cold-hearted, but peaceful. The Demon Coterie, however, are known for being monsters. They're freelance when it comes to picking sides – They love to bargain. Name the right price and they'll fight for you."

"What do they usually demand in return for their help?"

"Anything that'll help them – Like I said, they're sneaky and slimy. They should have been shoved below the surface of the earth along with the fairies."

"But I'm guessing they couldn't be contained?"

"… Right…" Elder Bespoke muttered under his breath before continuing. "Their natural enemy is the vampire. It could be because they're both deadly beings who are thirsty for power, or maybe it's because of all the past experiences they've had – But you _don't_ want to be around while they're fighting." Artemis was about to question the existence of vampires, but decided to give Bespoke the benefit of the doubt – Besides, he's not one to question the existence of magical creatures. Elder Bespoke continued: "There are several different kinds of Dryuds. It's a spiritual thing, really. There's the Spirit of the Owl, which allows a Dryud to heal, though it's uncommon to find a Dryud peaceful enough to contain that spirit. There's also the Spirit of the Wildcat. Fierce fighters, they are, with a permanent bloodlust. They're they worst kind of Dryud – Unfortunately, they're what mainly comprise most of the Coteries, here.

"And then there's the Spirit of the Moth – Those who aren't compelled to kill everything that serves as a non-immediate threat. In other words, they're the only type of Dryud you might actually get through to. Unfortunately, there aren't many of them around, anymore… They're mainly on their own, refusing to ally themselves with brutish Coteries."

"Wonderful," Artemis smiled slowly, crossing one leg over the other and tenting his fingers. "Can you direct us to a nearby Coterie?

Elder Bespoke shook his head. "Why would you possibly want to meet one of them? They _will_ kill you."

"Nonsense. I have my man-slave with me. I'll be fine."

"And how do you suppose he'll protect you against a single Dryud, let alone an entire Coterie?"

"He took down a troll on his own…"

"Really?" Elder Bespoke looked intrigued.

It occurred to Artemis that, to these people, there may be different types of trolls. "A Lower Elements troll," He added quickly.

"Oh," The Elder looked a little disappointed. "Still, for a human… But that doesn't mean you should go and get him _killed_ at the hands of those monsters."

"I can always cover him, if it comes to it."

"I doubt that very much."

"I have my ways, Elder."

Bespoke shook his head and sighed irritably. "Fine, go ahead – Get yourself killed."

Artemis almost smiled out of joy – Almost.

"The closest Coterie is just outside of Dublin, in a forest. They're tucked away in the far left corner, where nobody really ventures. We've fought with the human government to keep that forest under reservation, instead of turning it into a park or a camping ground." The Elder got to his feet. "Come with me – I'll get you a map."


	4. A Pleasant Wake-up Call

**Chapter Three**

Valkyrie Cain's eyes drowsily flickered open when she heard the sound of knuckles rapping against the glass of her window. Knowing exactly who it was, she muttered under her breath and wrapped herself up in her blankets before getting off the bed, shuffling tiredly to the window. Without a second thought, she opened it and shuffled back to her bed. "What do you want, Skulduggery?" She muttered, still half asleep. "It's my day off."

"It's also ten in the morning. Why are you still asleep?" Skuldiggery Pleasant cheerfully asked as he stepped into her room, careful not to step on any of the clothing that was scattered on the floor, and closed the window behind him. He had his waxy façade on, hiding his bones. Today, it was a large nosed, dark haired, great smiler of a profile.

"I'm_ not_ asleep. You know why? I'm talking to you, forming cognitive sentences - Because you woke me up. Which brings me to the important part of this conversation: Why _did_ you wake me up?" Valkyrie rubbed her eyes under the blankets. "You know it's my day off – That means no magic and no danger, remember? I get to be normal."

The detective waved his hand airily, screwed his mouth to one side of his face. "Pffft…"

"Skulduggery…"

"Alright, fine." He leaned against her dresser, crossing his arms across his chest. "I just got a call from Ghastly. Apparently, a mortal just walked right into the Sanctuary."

"A mortal?" Valkyrie frowned, suddenly now a little more awake. "What about the Cleavers? Shouldn't they have stopped him?"

"They _should_ have, but they _didn't_ – Which means the Cleavers are either getting lazy, or they were fooled. I'm putting my money on the latter. Either way, this is bad news for us – Specifically you, since this is your day off."

"What? Bad news for us? I'm so shocked." Valkyrie commented dryly as she yawned.

"The kid tried to trick Ghastly with a fake name, which can only mean—"

"Whoa, whoa – A _kid_? You guys are worried about a _kid_?" Valkyrie stared at Skulduggery skeptically, letting out a slight laugh. "Seriously? You woke me up because you can't deal with a kid on your own?"

Skulduggery was quiet for a moment. "Well… a kid and his abnormally large, ogre-like bodyguard."

"Slightly more convincing, but we've dealt with a lot worse, Skulduggery. Just last week, I punched a serial murderer slash thief in the face. I think you can handle it. And if you really feel the need to take someone along with you, go call Fletcher."

Skulduggery's shoulders sagged. "Oh, come on, Valkyrie! We all know I'm no saint… But Fletcher? This is outright torture! I can't go on adventures with someone who doesn't even know how to spell 'anonymous', let alone use it in a logical sentence!"

"We have a deal, Skulduggery. You can't take it back, now."

"Don't make me grovel,"

"Don't grovel."

"I'm going to start groveling,"

"Don't do it,"

"Here I go…"

"Oh, good Lord…" Valkyrie muttered under her breath. "Fine, I'll go. But you owe me, Skulduggery. I mean, you seriously owe me."

"Ah, splendid!" Skulduggery clapped his hands together in delight, smiling once more. "Shall you get dressed and we'll get moving?"

"Where are we going?"

"That's a great question."

"I thought so - That's why I asked it."

"We need to talk to Ghastly before we can do anything else. He's the one who spoke to the kid and his ogre, so we may as well start there." Skulduggery walked out of Valkyrie's bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Valkyrie let the blanket fall onto the bed before she got up and pulled her pajamas off. She opened her dresser and lightly touched the mirror, letting her reflection out before getting dressed. "I thought today was your day off." The reflection commented as it, too, got dressed.

"So did I…" Valkyrie muttered as she slipped the Necromancer ring on a finger. To Skulduggery, she asked as she pulled her boots on: "What were you talking about when you said the kid tried to trick Ghastly with a fake name?"

"Oh, you mean when you oh-so-rudely interrupted me?" Skulduggery said quietly through the door. "I was _going_ to say that it means this kid knows more about our community than any mortal should. _Très, très mauvaises nouvelle._"

"So let me guess – We find the kid, we get Scrutinous involved?"

"Not exactly – Ghastly already called in Scrutinous. Our job is to fetch this kid."

"All the more reason to get Fletcher…"

Skulduggery ignored her. "But I'm curious as to how much information he actually has, so we have a little mini-quest before we bring him into the Sanctuary."

"What kind of information did he get? Did Ghastly even tell you?" Valkyrie asked as she shrugged her coat on.

"Dryuds."

Valkyrie froze and her reflection looked at her curiously. "Why does he need that information?" She asked Skulduggery a little too sharply as adjusted her coat.

"No idea,"

"I don't want to go through that all over again."

"Luckily, I don't think we'll have to. But, if we leave this child to go to the Dryuds, we have no idea what he could get up to." There was a silence before Skulduggery added reluctantly: "He's going to the Demon Coterie…"

"Skulduggery, let me remind you that we don't have a great track record when it comes to our plans at _that_ girl." She opened the door as her reflection crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over her head. "Also, if you'll remember, I'm kind of on her hate list."

"Oh, you'll be fine."

"Right – Until she decapitates me and uses my skull as a bowl."

"You're overreacting."

"No. No, I'm really not."

"Well, if she decides to try anything, I'll be right beside you."

"That does _not_ inspire confidence."

"I didn't say it to inspire confidence. I said it to comfort you." Skulduggery patted her shoulder gently. "Now, let's get moving before Ghastly is distracted by something more important than us. Lord only knows that happens once in a blue moon, but let's not hedge our bets, shall we?"

* * *

><p>Artemis Fowl sat in the back of the Fowl Bentley, his head resting against the back seat. Butler glanced over his shoulder as he drove, noting that his charge was still somehow sleeping. "Artemis?" Butler called as he directed his attention back to the road. The map that Elder Bespoke gave them was laid out on the shotgun's seat, no longer in need of use.<p>

"It's legal," Artemis' words were slurred and barely cognitive, his head was upright in a flash, eyes drowsy from sleep. He blinked and looked out the window of the car.

"I'm… sure it is, Artemis." Butler nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off the dirt road ahead of them. "We're almost there."

Taking a moment to actually wake up, Artemis turned to Butler. "Well, that didn't take long at all."

"I took almost three hours."

"It felt a lot shorter."

"That's because you were asleep for two thirds of the drive."

"Ah, that makes more sense." The youth looked out the tinted windows, watching the tango of blurry trees fly by. "Sometimes I sleep and it's like I'm awake because I'm still thinking."

The Bentley slowed to a stop and Artemis shot a questioning look at Butler.

"We can't go any further – We'll have to walk the rest of the way." Butler answered almost immediately, taking the keys out of the ignition.

Artemis' eyes filled with horror. "What?"

"We can't drive a car through the forest."

"Yes we can – It may not be _common_ or _legally accepted_… But it _is_ possible."

"Come on," Butler got out of the car and waited.

Artemis watched on reluctantly, feeling completely cheated. Eventually, he let out an irritated sigh and followed Butler out of the car. "I'm built for mental activity, not physical activity…" He muttered as he followed Butler. "You could have at least given me bug spray. Or a machete. Or you could have just driven through all this forest… I really don't want to walk a mile into the middle of a forest, Butler."

The bodyguard shook his head. "I really need to start getting you to the gym, Artemis. You're…" He trailed off when he felt Artemis glaring through his back. "… a wonderful person." He finished quickly, not looking back.

Artemis cursed darkly under his breath. Aloud, he eventually groaned angrily: "This had better be worth all the forest romping…"


	5. Deadly Demandings

**Chapter Four**

"So let me get this straight," Skulduggery leaned against the dark, polished acacia wood table in the conference room. "You gave this _child_ delicate information to the whereabouts of one of the most dangerous groups in Ireland… because you _hoped_ you could get back to him in time?"

"We don't have time for this…" Ghastly ran a hand over his bald head. "They're going to get themselves killed if we don't find them in time, Skulduggery. I've called in Scrutinous, so all you have to do is get the kid in here so we can keep him under surveillance until our friend can do his job."

"But he's, what? Thirteen? Fourteen? And with a bodyguard of that stature, they're sure to get too big-headed… They're going to rush in there, thinking they're safe, and end up getting killed no matter _what_ we do." Valkyrie countered, playing with the cold ring on her finger. She didn't want to be here on her day off. Besides, Sanctuaries always made her feel drained – The impending doom of constant work may have had something to do with it. "Telling a little kid to go to the Demon Coterie is the best idea you've ever had."

Skulduggery sighed, even though he had no lungs to produce the air. "Calm down, Valkyrie. I don't need you killing an Elder before we can get to this kid." He turned Ghastly, his Façade Face looking icy calm. "If anything happens to that boy, it's _your_ fault. If someone pins the blame on us, for it…"

"Just… go get the kid…" Skulduggery's words had obviously gotten to Ghastly, as the Elder's fists were clenched and his jaw was tight.

Skulduggery didn't even hesitate. He nodded and turned on heel, heading out of the conference room. Valkyrie frowned and followed him, glancing back at Ghastly to see him rubbing his temples, not moving from his spot.

Once the had exited the Sanctuary, Valkyrie glanced up at Skulduggery. "What was that all about?"

The detective had a smile on his fake lips once more. "Oh, nothing. I just really wanted to rub in the fact that it _wasn't_ us who started this whole thing."

"For once,"

"For once. And it's got to feel like salt on a paper-cut, since he's always lecturing us about verbally abusing people, starting fights, punching important people, kidnapping Grand Mages... It's all very ironic, you see?" Skulduggery entered the driver's side of the car and started it up as Valkyrie reluctantly got her seat belt on. After a moment, he turned to her. "Are you ready?"

"Well, my seat belt is nice and snug. You?" She smiled and looked at him. Dramatically, she let her eyes widen, her smile drop. "_Oh_, you meant the _other_ thing…" She whispered.

"Stop,"

"Wow, I'm so sorry. I just… I don't know. It's all too scary for me."

"Quit it."

Valkyrie sat back in her seat. "It doesn't really matter if I'm ready or not, for this. What's in the past is in the past." She looked over at him. "Besides, if _we_ don't go, then _who will_?"

Skulduggery took a moment to accept the answer, nodded and they silently exited Roarhaven.

* * *

><p>Artemis slapped his neck where he felt something small and arachnid-like tickling his skin. He pulled his hand away and looked at it in disgust before scraping the rest of the spider off his neck. He looked around for something to wipe the crushed wolf spider off on and his eyes landed on the back of his old friend, who was forging a path ahead of them.<p>

Holding his hand away from himself, Artemis hopped over a log and caught up to Butler. Hesitantly, he patted the bodyguard on the back, subtly wiping the goop that was once an arachnid off on Butler's back.

Butler looked over his shoulder in confusion.

"I just wanted to thank you for being here, old friend… Without you, I fear I'd be lost by now in this dark forest of twists and turns…" Artemis smiled measly up at him.

Well… it was the almost truth.

The bodyguard looked at Artemis with skeptical eyes before choosing to completely ignore what just happened and continued clearing the path for his charge. After all, what was he supposed to say? It was Artemis Fowl, for God's sake.

Artemis cringed and fell back in step behind Butler, sighing as he looked at his HD3 Slyde Watch that was latched to his wrist. All of his energy was absolutely, positively drained. It's only been an hour and they still haven't the foggiest idea of how much further they have to go until they found the Demon Coterie.

He frowned to himself. Demon Coterie… Are they really as horrible as Elder Bespoke claims, or could it be possible that the man was simply trying to scare the youth away? He mulled it over for a moment before deciding on the latter. It's not the first time that someone has lied to keep Artemis away. Like the boys from his elementary school and their silly games of tether ball. The game hardly looked entertaining, anyways… Silly tether ball… Artemis wasn't jealous of all the rope burns he missed out on.

But, no matter how you look at it, the choice Artemis just made was definitely not the most educated, therefore it was one of the worst.

In front of the youth, Butler suddenly stopped. Artemis walked into him and felt a goopy mess smear across his cheek. It took a moment for him to realize that he had just collided with the green spider mush, a good mixture of legs and guts clinging to his face. He frantically wiped it off, stepping to the side to see why Butler had stopped.

What he saw made his movements slow until his hand looked permanently glued to his cheek in the half-finished motion of wiping it off.

Standing in front of Butler was a tall girl – She couldn't have been more than four or five years older than Artemis. Her long hair was almost the same hue as blood and pulled into a tight braid at the nape of her neck. Her eyes were a brighter red, but what startled him the most about them was the fact that they were more feline than human. Her face and arms were covered with deep black, swirling tattoos, each line intricately painted onto her skin like a warning. Her nails were long and sharp and seemed to be on the verge of puncturing even her own palm. Her slender brows were furrowed, and her dry, cracking lips parted into a snarl, revealing rows of razor-sharp teeth. Artemis noticed that the tips of her ears were pointed sharply. She was obviously a fairy of some sort.

But the most shocking part of this image was the very sharp, very _dangerous_ looking short sword she gripped tightly in her hand, keeping a fair distance between the youth, his charge and herself.

"Who the_ hell_ are _you_?"


	6. Dangerous Dealing

**Chapter Five**

"Well?" The girl demanded, threateningly bringing the blade closer.

"Wait," Artemis interjected quickly, pushing past Butler and kicking up foliage in his wake. "We're not here for a fight." He gingerly held up the palms of his hands, showing her that he hand no weapons to use against her.

The girl snorted. "It's not _you_ that I'm worried about, kid. It's your tower of a friend, here." She didn't take her eyes off Butler. "Who _are_ you?"

"Don't worry about him," Artemis' tone was a mixture of a warning and icy coolness.

Butler opened his mouth to warn the youth, but stopped himself and remained silent. He had to force himself to trust that the boy knew what he was doing, though he still moved to press a hand against Artemis' chest.

Despite all he knew of his old friend, Artemis brushed Butler's hand away and stepped forward – An act he knew he could very well regret.

"The only fear I have from you is your loud feet," She grinned, flashing her pointed teeth again and finally looking directly at Artemis. "I could hear you two coming from a five mile radius, Mud Boy."

"I didn't come to banter with you. I came to make a deal."

Her grin disappeared almost as fast as it had appeared. "I'm not open for commission, kid. Make Hulk to do it and get lost." He growled, nodding to Butler.

"You may want to listen to what I have to say before you send us off," _Or kill us – Whichever comes first._ Artemis thought to himself. He decided _not_ to give her any bright ideas.

"Then talk, Mud Boy. I don't have all day."

Nobody moved. Irritated, Artemis sighed. "We need to be _alone_ before I start bargaining," He growled in fluent Gnomish – He had to show her that he wasn't ordinary and that she shouldn't be playing these silly little games with him.

She stared for a moment, as if she was processing this. Then a sly smile split her face. "You're smarter than you look. I'm impressed." She almost sounded sarcastic.

"I have my moments." He sounded equally sarcastic and a hair more annoyed.

"Fine – You have my undivided attention for the time being. But if you lose it for one second…" She dropped the smile and twirled the short sword before sheathing it and turning sharply – She reminded Artemis of a boot camp instructor or a soldier. "Come along, then…" She called over her shoulder as she walked off in the direction of a path she obviously knew, not even looking to see if she was being followed by the humans.

"I don't know about this," Butler whispered to Artemis as they followed the mysterious teenager who was leading them to a secrete place for them to talk.

Artemis didn't respond. Doubt twisted inside his own stomach – He really had no idea how this would turn out. He knew such little of the Dryuds, and nothing about their temper or their customs. He didn't even know how cooperative they were. Though, judging by the girl's actions, they were incredibly inpatient. Or maybe it was just her – Artemis really hoped it was just her.

It frustrated him to no end that he had such little information on the Dryuds. Elder Bespoke was fairly vague on the details. It bothered Artemis to run into a situation without knowing your possible enemies.

But Artemis Fowl the II was never without a backup plan or two. And his current backup plan was very simple and, let's face it, inevitable on every spectrum.

The girl brought them into a smaller clearing with a half-fallen tree and stub of a trunk. She gestured for Artemis to sit on the trunk before running up the branches of the tree and sitting cross legged on one of the thick branches. Butler remained standing, refusing to sit on the ground and let his guard down.

"Out of curiosity," Artemis started when they had settled. "Why did you agree to speak to me? After all, I'm just a kid, as you keep repeating."

"You're interesting… Complexity intrigues me. You know the language of the People, yet you're a human child. It makes me curious as to why you are here and what you have to offer." She rested her elbows on her knees and her chin on her palms. "Do you also speak the Dead Tongue?"

"Of course. I mastered Latin during my eighth summer." When she looked at him quizzically, he shrugged. "It was a dull year. I needed something a bit more interesting to read."

She nodded and placed a hand over her bony shoulder. "Momento mori, Mud Boy. "

A flash of cold shot through his stomach as Artemis shifted slightly towards Butler. "Excuse me?" He breathed, suddenly very uncomfortable in this situation. Well, a lot _more_ uncomfortable. 'Momento mori' translated into English was 'remember you will die'.

She laughed – or at least it sounded like it was _supposed_ to be a laugh – and let her legs swing over the branch. "It's just a saying among Dryuds, kid." She had a slight grin on her face, her sharp teeth peeking through. "It's the equivalent of 'May the Light be with you' or… 'Break a leg'. Ours is just the brutal truth, meant to help fuel vigor. We know we're going to die. It happens to the best of us." Her smile vanished. "That's what you wanted, right? For me to elaborate so you could add to your vat of information on Dryuds?"

"How charming," Artemis drawled, not letting his posture or flat expression fall. "for you to think I'm just here for observation. You may be a creature, but you're no giraffe. I didn't come here to observe your eating habits and document your migration paths."

"Then what do you want?"

"First off, your name."

She lifted her chin cautiously, her eyes shooting from Artemis to Butler before finally speaking. "Neala." She nodded towards the two humans. "You're turn."

Butler glanced at Artemis out of the corner of his eyes. Could she use the sorcerers equivalent of _Mesmer_, or was she just genuinely curious?'

"Cat got your tongue?" Neala asked, folding her arms on her lap and leaning forward. "Or do we not have names?"

"Artemis," Was all the youth answered with.

"That's a girl's name."

"So is Sherlock, but you don't see that come up every time the great detective introduces himself." He paused for but a moment. "On another note, I would appreciate it if you would invite your friend to chat with us, instead of blatantly hiding her among the bushes, over there – Or make her leave. Whichever works best."

Neala's expression didn't change. "If she leaves, he leaves." She nodded to Butler. "He's obviously not here for the negotiations, since he's barely said a word – Which means he's the muscles, not the brains."

"Actually, I'm his emotional support." Butler chimed in dryly. "I'm really here to make sure he has someone to vent his feelings to – As you can see, he's very emotional and always on the verge of a break down."

"Are you sure that's all?" Neala raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Yes, thank you for that, Butler…" Artemis hissed through ground teeth. He let his expression go cool again. "He stays – But make your friend come out of those bushes."

Neala didn't even have to utter any words – The other Dryud emerged from the thicket. She didn't have the Irish nationality. _Japan, if I'm correct_. Artemis thought. _Which I am, duh.._. The newcomer had long, straight, black hair that reached the bottom of her shoulder blades, the bangs and ends cut perfectly .

"Her name is Nia. She may not attack without orders, but… Well, do try _not_ to get her angry." Neala purred, crossing her legs elegantly on the branch. Nia said nothing, but watched Butler and Artemis with and intensity that flared every second that passed in silence. Her eyes were cold and her body was mellow, as if she were relaxed, opposed to Neala's tense muscles.

_What a wonderful first impression_, Artemis couldn't help but think to himself.

"Now," Neala cut through the silence, tilting her head curiously to the side. "You wanted to make a deal…?"

* * *

><p>Skulduggery and Valkyrie were driving in an awkward silence. It was the first truly awkward silence they've had in quite some time. It was, as expected, quite awkward.<p>

Valkyrie was staring out the window, her elbows on the sill of the window as trees and grass flew by in blurs. There was nothing she wanted more than to be at her own home, snug under her big, comfy duvet and fast asleep. But instead, she was out here. In the field. Good old fashion Detective Work, this was. Running into danger head on without a safety regulation in the world…

Skulduggery interrupted her thoughts, his voice quiet. "She's not going to try anything, you know."

Valkyrie blinked and looked over at Skulduggery. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, for one, if she wanted to kill you," He looked over at her. "she would have done that by now. She's had ample enough time and more than enough resources."

"… Greaaat."

"Then take into account that I'll be standing beside you." Skulduggery focused his sight on her. "And we all know that, while we may not see eye-to-eye-socket, we are able to agree on one thing." He looked back to the road. "She knows that I won't hesitate to take her out if I have to."

"I hope you didn't spend this whole ride thinking about ways to cheer me up, and _that's_ all you came up with." Valkyrie looked back out the window. "Because that was just weak. Please tell me you didn't actually expect it to work…?"

"Well, I don't expect _anything_ to work when you're being a Negative Nelly," Skulduggery cooed as if he were talking to a little kid.

"You think she's changed, don't you?"

"Do you?"

"Of course not," Valkyrie grumbled stubbornly. "People don't change…"

"She's kept a clean slate since the last time we saw her,"

"That doesn't mean she's changed."

"But does it mean anything to you?"

"No. I don't trust her enough to not turn around and cheat us over."

Skulduggery stopped talking from that point on until they reached their destination. They parked outside of a large forest; Skulduggery parked the car and stuffed the keys into his pocket. Without a word, he got out of the car, leaving Valkyrie behind. She frowned after him, not sure if she should feel insulted or disappointed. She muttered under her breath and followed Skulduggery out of the Bentley. This wasn't the time to argue.

Skulduggery stood at the edge of the forest, tipping his hat and pressing the markings on his collar bones. His waxy façade face formed (a long, pale face, sharp cheek bones, with a head of curly black hair) and Valkyrie saw he was staring down something on the other side of a gathering of trees. It glinted in the sunlight behind the trees.

"Is that a car?" She asked as she neared him.

"It is," Skulduggery pressed his palms towards the ground and lifted himself over the trees. Valkyrie mirrored his actions, landing lightly beside him. "And a very nice one, at that." Skulduggery peered into the driver's side of the car. "Who would leave a Vintage, refinished Bentley out in the middle of nowhere?"

"You?"

"Someone other than me,"

"… You."

Skulduggery pressed his hand against the lock of the Bentley, twisting his palm slightly. It unlocked and he opened the car door. "Try the little rich boy who wanted to find the Demon Coterie," He grabbed a map off the passenger-side seat and handed it to Valkyrie. "Have a present," He smiled and walked away, following an obviously recently trampled path into the forest.


	7. The Cookie of Lies

**Chapter Six**

"I have very good reason to believe that someone is intent on revealing your kind to the human world," Artemis crossed his own legs, linked his fingers together eloquently and stared Neala right in the eyes. "There's been a rumor floating around, let's just say."

"Oh?" Neala inquired softly, her chin tucking in only a smidgen – Quite the opposite of the reaction that Artemis had expected. He'd figured there'd be more rage. And throwing of the arms. "Well," She continued. "I don't see there being much of a problem with us Dryuds being exposed. We're not exactly tribes of Cousin Its, now, are we? I'd say we could blend right in…"

"It's not just Dryuds; dwarves, goblins, trolls, fairies, pixies… and sorcerers. Anything remotely related to magic."

Neala pursed her dry lips. "Everything, you say…?" She looked at Nia, who was standing below here, before looking back at Artemis. "That's quite an accusation for just a rumor. What purpose do you suppose it would serve?" She asked. If Artemis wasn't as socially awkward, he may have detected the hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Dominance of the human race, free-running evil energy, chaotic and apocalyptic environments – You know. The usual."

"That _could_ be a problem…"

"Exactly."

"… For _you_."

Artemis' brows twitched slightly towards each other in confusion. "What?"

"Dryuds can handle themselves just fine. It's the humans and the People that need help. So what's in it for us?"

_Freelancers don't do things because they have to or want to; They do things because they're paid in some way to do it._ Artemis didn't like the idea of offering this woman anything. He repressed a sigh. "What do you want - Weapons? Food? ... Clothing?" He glanced their attire – Nothing that was really quite protective. Neala had a T-shirt and tight cloth pants on while Nia had a spaghetti strapped shirt and jean shorts on. However, they both had large black coats on with many buckles that hanged loosely. Every time Neala shifted, the coat shimmered, as if it were laced with another fabric.

"Our clothing is fine," Neala growled. "The coats were made by Ghastly Bespoke – And I'm fairly certain you don't have anything better, to be quite frank."

"Bespoke?" Artemis' ears perked. "The Elder? Elder Bespoke?"

"Don't you know? He used to be a tailor." She spoke in a very bored, drawling voice.

Artemis made a mental note to not get on Bespoke's bad side - If he went from being a tailor to being an Elder of the Ireland Sanctuary, he must have more up his sleeves than the blueprint of a designer gown.

"You seem stumped, boy." Neala leaned forward. "Let me help you." She glanced down at Nia again before speaking, as if the guard was supposed to do something. "I… once had a friend…" _Shocking_, Artemis thought dryly. "But, because of someone else close to me, she's now gone. I can't get her back. She's dead."

"But, if you're technically a fairy, why don't you resurrect her?"

"Because that's not how Dryuds work. We're either meant for healing or for fighting – Not both simultaneously. Our bodies naturally heal because of the small basin of magic we have reserved, but it's not enough to bring someone back from the dead. My friend was the Spirit of the Owl – The only spirit that really _can_ resurrect a person who is deceased."

"So what do you expect a couple of humans to do?"

"You speak the language of the People. Obviously, you've got ties in the Lower Elements. Find a way to get enough fairies to bring her back and _then_ I'll help you."

"It would take too much power for fairies to resurrect a Dryud, would it not? It's far too taxing on them." He said calmly. "And there won't be a full moon for several days, now."

"You actually _don't_ understand, kid: I _can't_ help you until Ena is back. She's what has kept us alive - And it's been dangerous enough these past few months without her. If we don't get Ena back, we can't help you. That's all there is to it."

Artemis exchanged a glance with Butler. They were both thinking the same thing – These people act like spoiled children; when they don't get _what_ they want _when_ they want it, they throw tantrums. In this particular case, there won't be any flailing of the arms and legs.

Neala took notice of their silence. "We've tried talking to other Coteries. I think they may have moved along, which would explain why it's been so quiet, as of late. I can't find them anywhere in Ireland and it's not like I can just up and leave the forest unprotected." She hesitated before adding: "We've tried everything we can. Our resources are limited and our hands are tied."

"Why don't you go to the Lower Elements yourself?" Artemis asked, trying not to be too condescending.

"The fairies and the Dryuds don't exactly have a great past," She started. "Really, it's a long story… Not exciting, either."

"I have a lot of time and an amazing patience."

Neala looked as if she was going to respond, but her mouth slowly closed and she twisted her body to face the clearing they came in from. "Pleasant…" She breathed, her eyes wide and her nails digging into the branch. Immediately, she scrambled down the tree and started back to the larger opened space, Nia following close behind.

Artemis glanced at Butler. "Pleasant?" He asked. "Does that mean anything to you?"

"Not a single thing," Butler shook his head. "Are we following them?"

"Of course we are," Artemis responded with a slight grin. Butler started after the Dryuds, a firm grip on Artemis' wrist, keeping the charge safe behind him.

They broke into the large clearing shortly after Neala, Artemis keeping a safe distance. There was a tall man and a girl who stood within slashing range of Neala's swords. "_What_ are you doing here?" Neala demanded, her body tense and her short swords in hand. "I've done _nothing_ to alert you!"

The man raised one of his gloved hands, the other casually slipped in his pocket, and made a motion for Neala to calm down. He wore an expertly tailored pin-striped suit, and a stylish black hat. Quite odd for someone so dapper to be romping around the inside of a forest. "We're not here for _you_ - Though it's nice to know you're always thinking of us."

"Oh _shut it_!" Neala hissed loudly. "Get out!"

The girl who stood beside the odd man was frowning curiously at Artemis and Butler. After a moment of Neala shouting warnings at the newcomers, the girl nudged her friend with her elbow. "Ow," He side-stepped away from her. "You're quite boney and that hurts."

"Hypocrites aren't fun people to be around."

"_I'm_ allowed to be a hypocrite. Think of all I've done… The point is, don't elbow me – It _hurts_." He massaged his hip.

By this time, Neala had one sword under the girl's chin and another under the man's, growling at them to get out. The girl rolled her eyes, ignoring Neala, and pointed at Artemis and Butler. "There; I found them. Can I go home, now? _Please_?"

"Oh," Artemis whispered to Butler. "Bullocks. I've suddenly got a back feeling about my first backup plan."

"You've got more backup plans, right?" Butler asked not-so-hopefully.

"More or less…"

The man tilted his head, staring at Butler in awe. "Ghastly was right. He really is tall."

"And ogre-like."

"Stop talking…" Neala growled.

"That too."

"She has her weapons in my face, you know."

"Well, then I guess there's only one thing left to do."

The tips of Neala's swords were almost touching their chins. "Seriously, stop…"

"I suppose there is."

The man swerved out of the way of the sword, lashing out at Neala, who easily dodged the punch, throwing the hilt of her swords into his stomach. The girl dodged the other sword, which missed her by a hair.

Artemis took a couple of steps back. "I don't know who the right person to fight for is..."

It wasn't a question for Butler – He fought for Artemis, using his own life if he had to. That being said, he already had his revolvers out and was aiming them steadily at the fighting group across the clearing.

The girl had broken away from Neala and the man. She noticed Butler with the revolvers and rolled her eyes irritably. Artemis watched as she started towards him and his bodyguard. "Self-defense," He called measly. "Self-defense, it's self-defense!" He started backing up.

"Sorry, trust fund baby." The girl called as she neared.

"I wouldn't come any closer…" Artemis warned, nodding to Butler.

The girl sighed. "Gotta make everything difficult for me, huh? Wake me up early on my day off, force me to fight long-range…" She extended a hand that had a small ring on a finger and snapped her palm forward. Artemis only saw a flash of darkness before he felt a hard impact on his chest, sending him flying into a tree and Butler only stumbling. She snapped her palm again. This time, Butler pushed Artemis out of the way and rolled to his own escape.

Artemis was coughing and gasping for breath, but was otherwise fine. He looked up just in time to see Butler collide heavily with the girl. She was sent sprawling, but managed to roll away and stumble awkwardly to her feet.

The man, still occupied by Neala, whose attacks were being deflected every time the man lifted his hands, though it didn't even look like her attacks were even touching them. He flicked his wrist, sending Neala flying towards the other side of the clearing. She rolled and managed to her feet – But, by then, the man had two revolvers out – One pointed at Neala and one pointed at Butler. "Hold up! Not to try and stop us from _killing_ each other or anything, but…"

Butler had already moved back to Artemis, keeping his charge behind his arm and holding his own revolver out, pointing it steadily at the man. "Are you OK?" Butler whispered quietly to Artemis.

"Yes… Yes, I'm fine." Artemis answered. "A bit knackered, but I'm fine."

"We're not here to fight," The man continued, cautiously moving towards Butler and Artemis, not letting his other revolver sway from Neala. "You two are Michael Cohen and Andrew Wheatley, right?"

"Oh, _piss off_!" Neala spat, not moving from her spot.

"Who wants to know?" Artemis demanded from behind Butler, whose body was getting more and more tense as the stranger walked closer.

"Skulduggery Pleasant," He responded calmly, lowering his weapon as he neared. "And my partner's name is Valkyrie Cain. We came from the Sanctuary – We just want to ask you a few questions."

"Then why were you attacking us?" Butler demanded suspiciously.

"I wouldn't really call that an attack. It was more of a deflect – Or self-defense." Skulduggery paused and gestured to Valkyrie. "_She's_ the one who attacked you." He faced her as she brushed off her knees. "Shame on you, Valkyrie. Shame, shame, shame." He scolded, grinning playfully.

"'Self-defense'?" Neala muttered from the other side of the clearing, sheathing her weapons. "You think _you're_ acting in self-defense? One minute, I'm talking to this bloody kid, the next _you're_ here, you Halloween puppet, with…" She trailed off, looking at Valkyrie. "… With _her_ – Miss Hot n' Cold. Have you chosen what you're going into yet, or are you still flip-flopping over it like a fish out of water?"

"Skulduggery…" Valkyrie growled through gritted teeth.

"How about you answer me instead of crawling back to your boss / friend / teacher / _guardian_, yeah?" Neala called, stalking over to them. "I'm _curious_…"

"Ya sure you don't mean _furious_?" Valkyrie demanded angrily, finally whipping around and facing Neala. "What's your _problem_?"

"Oh, you know… Life, primarily. But also you and your _god damned_ 'friend' who just decided..." Neala cleared her throat and put her fingers up as quotation marks, trying to imitate Skulduggery's voice. "…'Oh, hey, let's go bother Neala after, like, forever and a half of not even probably thinking about her. Because _that's_ a great idea'."

"Enough, you two…" Skulduggery sighed. "Really, you two are _impossible_."

"_You_ are _lucky_—"

"Yes, yes, lucky to be alive – Got it, thanks." Skulduggery waved off Neala's words as the Dryud neared. To Butler and Artemis, he said "Look, my weapon is lowered… OK? So don't attack. We just need to speak to you, right?"

"And it seems that talking tends to lead you to _violence_, Mr. Pleasant." Artemis didn't let Butler lower the guns.

"Hear that, _puppet_? You're not getting your way, today. Would you like me to get you a cookie to make you feel better?" Neala growled almost playfully, but definitely angrily.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I can't really _eat_ those…" Skulduggery holstered his guns and shrugged at Neala. "You can have it. You could actually use the extra fat – You look like the poster child for a runway model's handbook."

"Disgusting, no…" Neala frowned, looking down at her boney frame self-consciously.

"Spoken like a true anorexic teenager."

"That's OK, he doesn't _really_ get you a cookie." Valkyrie commented, looking away from Neala awkwardly. "He just promises it and makes you fights some weirdo who wants to take over the world." She shot a glance at Artemis.

"Hey, _I'm_ not the one trying to take over the world, OK?" Artemis objected defensively. "I'm the one who's trying to _save_ it – Then _you_ people barged in here during the middle of it…"

"He's right," Neala added reluctantly. "That's actually what he was speaking to me about..."

"That's fine," Skulduggery said cheerily. He pulled the collar of his shirt away from his neck, revealing two simple tattoos. He pressed them and Artemis watched in shock as the man's face melted away.

What was underneath the pale skin made the youth mark that day as the first time that Artemis Fowl the II had been truly baffled for a very long time.

* * *

><p><em>La, la, la.<em>

They skipped to the beat of their hearts through the forest with ease, smiles on their faces. "Step, step-bounce... Step, step-bounce…"

_La, la, la._

They gripped each other's hands tightly, holding on like their lives depended on it.

_Bla, la, la._

They chased after the little girl ahead of them. She tripped and stumbled, they didn't change their speed.

_Bla, bla, la._

Together, they attacked the child. They knocked her down. She called out. No one heard her.

_Bla, bla, bla._

They paused and sat down in the grass, one hand covered in blood. She got up. She ran away.

"Bla, bla, bla…" They smiled simultaneously as they let her run off to her death.


	8. Hectic Highway

**Chapter Seven**

The two of them sped down a highway in the UK in a very nice, very expensive, very _stolen_ car. Number One grinned as they pressed their foot down harder on the gas pedal, accelerating the speed exponentially. Number Two bit their bottom lip, barely able to contain their excitement, and tapped the side of the convertible, sunglasses over their eyes. _Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap-tap, tap. _

They were twins. They both had shoulder length, brown, curly hair, misty silver eyes, and healthily tanned skin. Cars swerved around theirs and honked as the two sped past in their stolen convertible without a care in the world. Number One was driving them from France to London, where they had a lovely meeting with a lovely client. They had just made a short flight from Brazil to South Africa, to Italy and then France.

Number Two had some music playing loudly on the car's speakers and was enjoying their scenery. They had both never been to the UK, before, this was a new experience for them – This strengthened their idea that they should have as much fun while they could during their visit.

Just as Number Two was thinking about all the fun things they could do, all the shiny things they could steal, they heard sirens.

Number Two took off their glasses, looked in their rear-view mirror. Two traffic police cars were chasing after them, sirens blaring, lights flashing. "Black Rats," Number Two yelled over the wind, still grinning. They sat bat in their seat as if all was well.

"I think we may have to pull over,"

"That may be what they want, yes."

"So shall we?" Number One and Number Two exchanged identical glances. It looked as if someone put a mirror down between them.

"Do we have to?"

"They'll bring in the helicopters. We'll be on TV."

"I suppose I'm not ready for any close-ups…."

From behind them, they heard one of the officers speaking loudly. Evidently, patience is not an taught skill in the police force. "_Pull the car over immediately!_" The officer spoke through a speaker. "_Slow your vehicle and pull over!_"

"I guess they really do want us to pull over," Number One nodded with a smile.

"I guess so," Number Two agreed as they undid both of their seat belts. Number Two opened the vehicle's glove department and pulled out a phone, two silver handguns and replaced them with their glasses. Handing one to their twin and keeping the other, Number Two pocketed the phone and put one hand on the wheel. They looked at Number One. "Ready?"

"Of course,"

"Good," Number Two didn't turn, but pointed the gun behind them at one of the traffic cars and shot several times. They heard the squeal of the tires as a bullet shot through the officer's forehead and he fell limp against the steering wheel. His vehicle swerved and crashed into an unlucky car that had pulled over on the side of the road.

Number Two really only needed to shoot once, as their aim was impeccable - Those other bullets were just to raise hysteria.

A bullet from the other traffic car missed the twins' tyres and hit the side of the car.

"One," Number Two smiled, tightening their grip on the wheel and using the dashboard as something to lean on as they got their legs crouched beneath them on the seat.

"Two," Number One smiled back, ignoring another few bullets hitting the car as they mirrored their twin.

And then, together, then pulled the steering wheel sharply in the same direction. The convertible turned with it, the tyres squealing and smoking as it turned. Giving up, the tyres skidded and the car flipped. The twins soared through the air, watching the pavement fly beneath them. To them, this was all happening in slow motion. They faced each other, let go of the wheel and gripped their free hands.

As a team, and what a team they were, they pushed off their seats and whistled through the air, wielding their guns. They hit the grass and rolled, getting to their knees and holding the handguns up as the traffic car screeched to a halt. One, Two, One, Two, they shot at the car and the three behind it that came as backup. All four cars crashed into a heap of hot, smoking metal in front of the decimated convertible.

The twins glanced at each other with cheerful smiles on their face. "They came with backup," Number Two commented happily as they headed quickly into the nearby forest.

"They should've come with more," Number One added as the skipped off together.

* * *

><p>"You two are quite the pair,"<p>

Number One and Number Two smiled broadly, their silver eyes flashing proudly. "Why, thank you, Miss."

"Yes, quite."

Opal Koboi cringed and nodded. Twins. Almost the most frightening thing in the world. _Almost_. "Right, OK…" She curled up in her comfy white egg-chair, pulling her small feet beneath her. She could hear her playlist of piano and violin music playing loud enough to be heard over the softly gurgling streams and faux waterfall. That and the box of chocolate truffles in her hands were the only things keeping her calm, right now.

They were in a large, dome-like, echoic room, most of the walls lined with windows that let in an amorous amount of filtered light. The faux waterfall was behind the twins, its calf-high river twisting around the white, tiled platform that the small group was on. It branched off into another river and down a smaller waterfall, feeding a body of water akin to a pond but larger and deeper. Vines crawled across the windows and walls, some hanging down around the white platform. Gardens full of exotic plants, ferns and trees filled the large room, refreshing the air and adding a certain serenity to the scenery. All around them, birds and insects chirped.

Opal plucked one of the truffles from its papery bed in the box. Aware that these people could kill her and walk off without remorse, she spoke carefully. She examined her almond truffle, her large, brown eyes calm and a smile playing on her soft pink lips. "That wasn't a compliment," She bit into the truffle and closed her eyes in bliss as it melted in her mouth. "You two almost failed to even get here without being caught. You stole a human vehicle, attracted an army of authorities, proceeded to kill them, plus a family of humans." She popped the rest of the truffle into her mouth. "I thought I told you to keep a low profile…?"

"Ah, yes…" Number Two nodded solemnly.

"Oh, you did." Number One nodded in sync with a smile.

"We're not very good at that, you see."

"Yes, we just do things as we go, actually."

"They just happened to be there as we were going…"

"Unfortunate,"

"But unavoidable."

Opal repressed a shudder. "Do you two always finish each other's sentences?"

"A habit, is all it is."

"But enough about us,"

"Right, what about that little chat you wanted to have, hm?"

"Something about a deal?"

Opal waited for them to stop speaking. They spent a tediously long time. When they stopped, she forced another smile onto her lips. "Yes, our deal…" She laid the box down on her lap and closed it, folding her hands over top. "I heard you were up for hire so I looked into your abilities, and, I must say, I'm highly impressed. I could find a great deal of help from the two of you."

"What would you have us do?" Number One asked curiously. Number Two remained silent for once, but they had an identical look on their faces. "And what would our reward be?"

"Reward…" She tasted the word on her lips before responding. "I'm afraid I don't know what to offer your people." She smiled warmly.

The twins exchanged looks and then looked back at Opal, suddenly serious. "You're a smart woman…"

"I _am_ smart."

"We know that you must have a way of erasing histories completely. We've heard your little stories." Number One shrugged. "We want you to delete our histories off every database in this world. We have built up quite a reputation and we need it to disappear."

"And you would have to do it every time we attracted attention," Number Two added.

"Indeed. Is this task that you ask of us worth it?"

Opal let out a soft chuckle and pulled her long, black hair over a shoulder. "Of course it is. And it's quite simple, too..." She gestured to her surroundings. "As you can see, I'm in a position where I must be subtle. I am neither fit nor able for the job, anyways… But I need you to kill some people."

"Some?"

"A fairly good handful, actually."

"Who?"

"A Coterie of Dryuds, two humans, some fairies and a couple of sorcerers."

"A Coterie of Dryuds?"

Opal nodded solemnly. "It's unfortunate that they have to die. But they've gotten themselves involved with someone that they should never have even bothered with." She sighed dramatically, sobered up, and linked her fingers together. "I received information that earlier today they agreed to help someone that—"

Number Two scoffed. "Details. We don't want to know about your fabricated lore – We only want to know who go kill and where we can find them."

Opal stared at them momentarily with wide eyes, her mouth agape. Eventually, she blinked and forced a rigid smile onto her face. "The sorcerers… Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain, located in Ireland. For now, anyways. If more of their type become a problem, I'll update you. And I can send you a list of the fairies, since there's a quite amorous amount."

"The Coterie?"

"The Demon Coterie. You've no doubt heard of them because of the…" She cleared her throat. "… the _incident_. Right now, they're also located in Ireland. I can send a GPS map to your phone." When they nodded, she quickly added: "And it's worth noting that _she_'s still in charge. However, for people of your stature, they should be no real issue…"

"And what about the humans?" Number One asked suspiciously. "Barely anyone bothers with humans, anymore. Is it safe to assume that this is a vendetta, or a mere malicious attack?"

Anger flared inside Opal like a raging storm at the thought of the Mud Boy. On the outside, however, she was completely calm as she smiled and spoke sweetly. "No, no… nothing like that. He's just getting in the way. Very annoying. Also very hindering. His name is Artemis Fowl the II and he's usually followed around by a big ape of a man. They both need to disappear."

Number Two nodded as if he was asked a question. "And when do you need this done by?"

"Preferably?" Opal raised her perfect eyebrows. "Today. Get rid of all of them by the end of the day."

* * *

><p>Geoffrey Scrutinous sat in a little metal chair padded with brown cushions. It wasn't very comfortable. He had to shift every few minutes to keep his bum from hurting and then going numb. But he didn't mind all too much. He wasn't picky. It did the job – He wasn't standing anymore.<p>

But it was certainly an odd sight; some middle-aged, heavy-set man, in a pair of khaki shorts and a Hawaiian themed shirt, sitting on a little chair and kicking his feet while he waited for the Elders to gather and meet him in the conference room. He stared at the overhead projector that was drilled to the ceiling, trying to find something interesting about. As hard as he tried, there really was nothing eye-catching about it – Though, one of the screws seemed crooked. _That_ was just annoying.

The door opened and in came the trio of Elders. Madame Mist sat down in one of the chairs without a word, and Erskine Ravel smiled weakly and nodded to Geoffrey. Ghastly Bespoke cringed at the sight of the Sensitive, as he always did when the tailor sees the mismatched outfits and tons of beads that Scrutinous seemed to always be adorned with.

When everyone was seated, Geoffrey gave a friendly wave and smiled. "Always nice to see you people," He shifted again. "Well, considering the circumstances…"

"Well, we do seem to be calling you in for more life-threatening situations, don't we?" Ravel pursed his lips curiously. "We never call you in for a friendly check-up, or anything. It's always 'this guys is taking over the world and exposed magic to someone' or 'this mortal is a little too nosy' or 'a kid walked into the Sanctuary and we need you to help us'…"

"That _does_ seem to be the general gist of it all,"

"Well, we'll have to make a Tea Date sometime soon, then…" Ghastly said dryly.

"He's just angry because he sent a little boy to his death…" Ravel twisted his mouth to the side and cupped it in a mock whisper, speaking to Geoffrey. The Sensitive just nodded knowingly, as if it were clear.

"You say that like it's a joke…"

"Well… it _kinda_ is… I mean, who just sends a defenseless little mortal headfirst into a gang of Dryuds?"

Ghastly didn't look amused.

Ravel cleared his throat. "So onto business…" He linked his fingers together and leaned forward professionally, staring Scrutinous down. "In all seriousness, this is a job we _need_ to get done. This boy is heading to the Demon Coterie and we need you to bring to light for him that Elder Bespoke is a lying liar who told him lies."

Geoffrey frowned in concern. "This poor boy is going to the Demon Coterie alone?" He turned to Ghastly. "Did you not tell him about what they did?"

Ghastly looked conflicted. "I… _tried_, but the kid was… tenacious… I figured we could catch up with him soon after and stop him before he made contact, but I fear we're too late already."

"Tenacious?" Madame Mist echoed quietly from under her veil. "Did he beat the information out of you?"

Ghastly's jaw locked in frustration. "He told me he would track them down and speak to them anyways… I just wanted him to be clear who they were dealing with…"

"You gave them a _map_," Ravel reminded Ghastly loudly. "You _told_ them where to go."

"Um, I would just like to point out…" Scrutinous butted into the conversation quietly. "… that I won't be going to the Demon Coterie just to find this boy."

Ghastly looked away from Ravel, and back to Scrutinous. "We have Skulduggery and Valkyrie on that already. We just need you to sit there and stay pretty until they come back with the child and his friend."

Under his breath, Ravel stubbornly muttered: "That is, if it isn't too late already…"


	9. Vatican Cameos

**I am uncomfortable with how awkward this chapter seems, so let's just forget about it, yeah?**

**Chapter Eight**

It took a moment for Artemis to find his voice. "Mr. Pleasant…" He breathed, taking a step past the confused Butler to look closer at the tall, thin man. "I do believe you're merely bones… Perhaps that cookie was a good idea…?" Butler anxiously watched Artemis as the youth stepped around Skulduggery curiously.

Skulduggery tilted his skull, which seemed to glow in the light of the setting sun. "Looking for something?"

"Obviously,"

"Anything I can help you with?"

"An indication as to how you're a walking, talking, fighting skeleton."

"What are you thinking?"

"Radio controlled, perhaps… But the movements are too human-like. Motion Capturing software could simulate that pretty well, though…" He lifted Skulduggery's arm.

"What are you doing?" Butler became very tense. "Do you not remember what happened _less_ than ten minutes ago?"

Neala scoffed at Artemis, who had pulled Skulduggery's sleeve up a few inches and was examining his wrist carefully and curiously. "You know it's pointless, right?" She demanded, keeping a comfortable distance from the group.

Ignoring everyone, Artemis ran his index and middle finger along the wrist bone. Skulduggery watched Artemis curiously as the youth proceeded to tap a finger against the bone. After a moment, Artemis stepped away. "Huh…"

"Satisfied?" Skulduggery asked, smoothing out his sleeve again.

"How are you walking and talking without muscles, lungs, sinew, nerves…?" Artemis breathed, his eyes alight with a hunger for knowledge.

"Magic." Skulduggery waved his hands through the air extravagantly. When Artemis shot a skeptical look at him, Skulduggery shrugged. "I actually don't know. I just woke up one day as a skeleton. Happy?"

"I'm not," Butler muttered. "Because now he's going to spend all his free time trying to figure out how you're doing this."

"Was that not the reaction you were looking for?" Valkyrie asked Skulduggery. "Did you expecting a lot more gasping and fainting?"

"Well, it _would_ make it easier for me to bring them back to the Sanctuary…" Skulduggery turned back to Artemis. "Which reminds me – Are you going to come talk to us or—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Neala interrupted. "He's not going _anywhere_. You guys interrupted our little conversation. Besides… I need to ask him a few questions, too." She glared at Artemis. "Like why you lied to me about your _name_."

Artemis shrunk back against Butler. "We didn't lie to _you_…"

"So you lied to the Elders?"

The youth lifted his shoulders and held his hands out, one in the 'Just a little bit' gesture and the other in the 'I don't know?' gesture. "It was a white lie…?"

"Well, this is just painful to watch…" Skulduggery commented to Valkyrie, his silky voice laced with humor.

"So your real name _is_ Artemis?" Neala continued, her eyes filled with suspicion.

"It—" Artemis glanced from Neala to Skulduggery and back. "Come on, stop this. I didn't lie to the Elders for malicious purposes… I only needed information on how to get to you."

"OK, there's your answer, Neala." Skulduggery clapped his bony hands loudly together. "Now we really should get going." He lifted his wrist, which had no watch on it, in front of his skull. "Look at the time – I think you've dragged on Twenty Questions long enough, don't you? Let's go get our own questions done and we can all go home."

Artemis hesitated. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, mainly why a child like you knows so much about the magic community, how you managed to get into the Sanctuary without being shredded to ribbons, and, most importantly, why you're here, trying to get _her_ help." Skulduggery hooked a thumb at Neala, who frowned. "Nothing too taxing, I hope."

"Mr. Pleasant," Artemis narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You're either a detective or a cop. That practiced tone doesn't fool me, however laid back it is."

"The fact you know what tone that would even _be_ worries and, frankly, confuses me. Just a tad."

"I've had practice."

"That doesn't help your case." Skulduggery replied dryly. He nodded to Butler. "Can you please get your friend here to put the guns away so we can talk like civilized freaks instead of freaks who are constantly trying to kill each other?"

Artemis waited a moment, and then gently laid a hand on Butler's arm. "Stand down - But be ready." Butler hesitated, glancing at the newcomers and Neala, then back to Artemis. Reluctantly, he nodded and holstered his guns. He trusted that Artemis knew what he was doing.

"My name is Artemis," The youth started, purposefully omitting his last name. "I have a working knowledge of the magic community because it intrigues me. I don't know why I wasn't attacked in the Sanctuary. I'm here trying to get help from Neala because I have reason to believe someone wants to expose magic to humans." He straightened his back and kept a level theoretic eye contact with Skulduggery.

Valkyrie pulled a small black wallet out of her pocket and pulled a five Euro bill out, handing it to Skulduggery. "You called it…" She muttered, stubbornly stuffing the wallet back in her pocket.

Skulduggery took the money and pocketed it. He turned back to Artemis. "Your lies make me rich." He said happily in a sing-song voice.

Offended, Artemis screwed up his face. "What are you _talking_ about? I _didn't_ lie."

"Not the _whole_ thing was a lie…" Skulduggery started. "… But not everything was quite _right_, either…"

"Oh Gods, kid – Now you've done it." Neala muttered, turning away like she was unable to watch. "And so his ego inflates further…" She stared into the forest adjacent of her.

"Your _full_ name is Artemis Fowl the II. You know so much about the magical community because you had to have this knowledge in order to steal gold from the People without a hitch." If he had a face, he'd be smiling. "But the one thing even _you_ don't know, is that you weren't shredded by Cleavers because of the boring fact that your Given name is pretty much your Chosen name." Skulduggery paused. "Boring, right? And the only reason _he_ wasn't shredded was because you were escorting him." He gestured to Butler. "And, FYI, Ghastly is a lot wiser than he looks. It's hard to fool him."

"I'm sure he'd be flattered if I told him you said that…" Valkyrie grinned, crossing her arms.

Artemis watched Skulduggery, wishing the man had a face so he could read it. "OK… So how did you find out?"

"You know, despite common belief, the Sanctuary _isn't_ old fashioned… There _are_ security cameras and a thing called 'cross referencing'… You go to a local private school, we—" Skulduggery cleared his throat. "—May or may not have hacked their systems and found your picture in the undergrad folder. Then all we had to do was…" He paused and turned around. "Am I going crazy, or do you guys hear that, too?"

Artemis strained his ears to listen. Butler had his revolvers already at hand, fingers ready on the trigger. Neala muttered darkly under her breath and unsheathed her swords. Skulduggery and Valkyrie turned to properly face the point of attraction.

Someone burst through the foliage, stumbling towards the group. It was a girl, maybe seven or eight years of age, with short brown hair. She was covered with scarlet liquid.

"Oh, Gods…" Neala breathed, quickly sheathing her swords and running over the small girl. "Oh, Gods, no…" She turned to Skulduggery from across the clearing, her face containing more emotion than Artemis had ever expected to see from her. "She's dying!" She called to the detective before dropping to her knees beside the girl and putting pressure on the wound.

Artemis started to go over, fully intended on helping, but was stopped by Skulduggery himself. "You won't be able to do anything. This isn't your everyday paper-cut…" The skeleton said quietly, letting go of Artemis when the youth pulled his wrist away. Butler quickly pulled Artemis close to him, not trusting the entire forest around them.

Neala continued trying to put pressure on the wound, but it was obviously too late. She stared down at it for a minute before placing two fingers on her shoulder and whispering something to the girl. Artemis had to assume it was 'momento mori'.

"It was a vampire attack," Neala called solemnly, not moving from her spot. "The wounds were far too deep for her body to handle. Some major arteries were hit… The little magic she has can't repair that."

"Vampire attack?" Skulduggery demanded. "_Now_?"

"I'll have Nia scout the area and…" Neala trailed off, her lips pursing.

Artemis didn't know what to say. He wasn't very good at comforting a troubled _human_ soul, let alone a _Dryud_.

The clearing filled with an awkward, somber silence.

Unfortunately for them, it didn't last for long.

Where the little girl had burst through the forest, another person followed. This time, the person wasn't stumbling or hurt. In fact, they walked right in, turned to Neala and kicked her very hard in the face. The Dryud was sent sprawling and the new girl continued into the clearing. She stopped halfway between where Artemis stood and where Neala laid.

"Hello and greetings to all at the Demon Coterie camp!" A short girl with long, blonde locks of hair and green eyes exclaimed loudly. Artemis couldn't help but note how human (though she obviously wasn't, according to her kick) she looked. In her pastel-blue shirt under a brown leather jacket, a light pair of skinny jeans and a pair of shoes with large heels, she looked like an everyday run-of-the-mill teenager. "Really, the pleasure is _all_ mine!" She smiled charmingly. This girl looked barely older than Artemis.

Neala was already getting to her feet, wiping away some blood that trickled from her mouth – That kick had more power behind it than it seemed. "What the _hell_ are you doing here…?" She demanded of the girl, her eyes dark and wide with surprise.

"I'm just… _returning_ something you may have lost." The girl didn't drop her smile. She gestured to the forest. "Come on out, Aine, don't be shy…" There was a pause of silence before something else stepped out of the forest.

"What _is_ that…?" Artemis breathed, suddenly welcoming Butler's over-protectiveness.

"_That_," Valkyrie growled, dropping into a defensive stance. "Is a _vampire_." She glanced at Artemis. "Aren't you glad you decided to get into _this_?"

Artemis ignored her and stared at imposing monster that stood beside the young girl. It reminded the youth of a shaved troll, but shorter… It had long, jaggedly sharp tusks that dripped with saliva, its beady eyes watching the only humans in the clearing. Its long talons were coated liberally in congealing blood.

"This isn't right," Skulduggery muttered almost to himself and pulled out his revolvers, aiming one at the girl and one at the vampire called Aine. "I mean, other than the obvious… Something is wrong."

"What is going on, here?" Neala demanded furiously, her swords at hand. "I thought you were both _dead_." Using one sword as a pointer, she jabbed at the air, gesturing to Aine. "I _killed_ you! I saw to it myself! You're body was burnt and tossed into the sea!"

"Don't sound so upset – You'll make us cry…" The girl's face contorted in a look of mock disappointment.

"Right – And _that_ would just send me into a pit of despair and self-loathing…" Neala growled sarcastically. "Get off my territory."

"Ah, ah, aa-aah," The girl chimed happily. "It's _mine_, now."

"_Get off my territory_," Neala repeatedly loudly. "And I promise that, when I _kill_ you _again_, I'll try to only make it _moderately_ painful."

The girl turned to Neala, her movements fast and strong. "_You're_ not going to do _anything_ until I say so, or I _will_ have you _killed_." She shoved a finger at Neala's shoulder. "I'm in charge here now, and you'll do well not to doubt that."

"Oh, goody, this is _exactly_ what I was looking forward to on my day off…" Valkyrie drawled sarcastically and angrily. "Two dead evil weirdos and three live ones."

"You, uh… _girls_… look remarkably well-fed for rotting corpses." Skulduggery added casually. "But, I must say, I don't envy you. I honestly am very attached to my _slim figure_…" He put a hand on his hip for emphasis.

"I see you're still harboring losers and humans, Neala." The girl grinned, looking over at the small gathering of people. "Can't say I'm surprised, though. I mean, you've always been a loser, yourself, so…"

"Oh, go _die_ like you were supposed to!" Neala hissed through ground teeth, her blade flashing towards the girl's throat.

As much as Artemis didn't want to watch two people tear each other apart, he wanted to badly for Neala not to miss – Not for the bloodshed, but for the safety. Much to Artemis' dismay, the girl pulled her head away in time to let the blade whistle past her face. She caught one of Neala's wrists and bent it backwards. The sound of bones snapping could be heard throughout the clearing. "When will you learn to _give up_?" The girl snarled with a grin.

"Why aren't we doing anything?" Artemis whispered to Skulduggery, who had barely moved since the new girl entered the clearing. "Isn't there something we can do?"

"Where there's one Mother-of-All-Vampires, there's more. Just… sit there and try not to smell like a delicious sack of blood." Skulduggery didn't even turn his head. "The only thing we can do is wait for her wrist to set and bond before bursting into a fight that will inevitably fail."

"Fail?"

"Against a Dryud and a vampire with a no-doubt large and cumbersome group of followers? Not without a little back up – Or at least someone who can prove to be a good distraction."

"What is _wrong_ with you, Caoilainn?" Neala demanded angrily, holding her wrist to her chest. "First you kill Chew, then you _wrongly_ assume power of my Coterie, and now you break my wrist – Which, mind you, has done _nothing_ but manage to _piss me the hell off_!"

"The only thing I _wrongly_ _assumed_ was that you were up for chitchat – I see you're still the same as ever, straight to the point. How dull." Coailainn sighed irritably.

"Yeah, no, that would be me." Skulduggery chimed in cheerily. "Speaking of which, how was your day? Did you sleep well last night?"

Coailainn opened her mouth to speak, but Skulduggery cut her off anyways. "That's great – So, how about you, Aine? You must have had a great day, since you're alive again and have just killed a small little not-so-child-thing, huh?"

The vampire, Aine, said nothing. Artemis wasn't even sure if it _could_ speak. In fact, he didn't even know that it was comprehending words, right now.

"What about this little mouse, over here…?" Caoilainn purred looking at Artemis, snapping him out of his thoughts. The youth was sure that, if she wasn't under the guns of Skulduggery and Butler, that she would come a little closer. "We're talking about chitchat and this mouse has barely even squeaked…"

"It's nothing personal, I assure you." Artemis explained from his spot between Skulduggery and Butler. "I'm just letting the 'grownups' talk before I stop you and your silly little plan."

"Oh?" Caoilainn smiled at him. "_You're_ going to stop me?"

"Well… Yeah. Not directly."

"And how's that?"

"With a simple Vatican Cameo, actually."

Before Caoilainn could even screw up her face in a look of confusion, Butler pushed Artemis to the grass, shielding him, and Skulduggery mirrored the actions with Valkyrie, who let out a yelp of confusion. Across the clearing, two beams of light from seemingly thin air knocked Aine and Caoilainn down, sending them flying and momentarily unconscious.

Neala quickly seized this chance and shot across the clearing towards Artemis and Butler. "You could have done that _before_ she broke my wrist," She growled as soon as she was within earshot to speak under her breath and be heard. Louder, she asked: "Are you guys ready to go?"

"Where are we going?" Artemis scrambled to his feet.

"Out of here," Neala looked at Skulduggery and Valkyire. "You guys are on your own." The detective and his partner had no problem with this, as the quickly nodded and headed into the thick forest, disappearing from sight.

A then someone appeared beside Neala in the air, as if someone turned on the light and revealed them.

"You're not going anywhere with _her_." Captain Holly Short ordered, her mechanical wings keeping her afloat. "_You're_ going with _me_."


	10. Riding on the Wings of Trouble

**Chapter Nine**

"Holly, you truly have no idea how glad I am to see _you_!" Artemis exclaimed in relief, dusting his knees and elbows off. "A sight for sore eyes, you are!"

"This isn't the time for that!" Neala intervened as Holly started to speak. "We need to get out of here before those idiots wake up from their dazed stupor." She turned to Butler and spoke quickly. "I'm going to hold onto your wrists – It would be much appreciated if you _didn't_ kill me."

Butler stepped back. "What do you think you're doing?" He demanded, pulling his wrists away from her.

"I've already told you – I'm getting us out of here. I'm obviously the only one strong enough to carry you between me and the fairy, and Skulduggery has his _own_ freeloader to deal with." She held her palms out expectantly. "Now we don't have much time. Lower Elements weapons will only work on Dryuds and vampires for so long." Over her shoulder, to Holly, she said: "And I don't recommend relying on those for too much longer; those boneheads are bound to become immune to it soon enough."

Holly landed on the grass in front of Artemis. "Come on, then – Let's hook you up to the Moonbelt."

Artemis glanced around the clearing. Skulduggery and Valkyrie were already gone, Caoilainn and Aine were slowly getting up and Neala had Butler held tightly in her grip. "Where are we going?" Artemis asked Holly as she hooked him securely onto her Moonbelt.

"Anywhere but _here_, preferably." Holly still had her helmet on, so Artemis could have been mistaken… But she sounded a bit angry. _Then again, she always sounds angry, so I suppose it's a good thing._ Artemis thought to himself. Continuity is a wonderful thing.

"Ready, fairy?" Neala asked impatiently.

"You know my name, it _has_ been said." Holly snarked. "And… yes." She added stubbornly.

"We're not on a first name basis," Neala growled simply before something happened – Something _extraordinary_. _Wings_, of all things unfurled from Neala's back. To Artemis, they almost looked like they belonged to a Marabou Stork. "Let's get these morons to safety and deal with the losers." She seemed to order to Holly before the large, strong wings pumped swiftly and she lifted off the grass, still gripping Butler tightly. The bodyguard had opened his mouth to protest, but was quickly jerked off his feet and left dangling in the air. Obviously, this was no time for second-thoughts.

"Wings…?" Artemis breathed, watching Neala twist through the air, swinging Butler dangerously below her.

"Big whoop," Holly muttered, starting up her wings. "I have wings too."

"But—" Artemis was cut off by a violent jerk as Holly shot away from the ground, quickly gaining speed and catching up to Neala. "A subtle change in subject might have been nicer," Artemis called, his raven-black hair whipping out of its place slicked to his scalp. Holly hadn't put on the shield yet, so now was his time to talk. After a moment of her awkwardly ignoring him and Artemis trying to think of something to say during this near-death experience, the youth finally managed to shout over the wind. "Thank you for coming. And, you know… not shooting me. Or the living skeleton. That last part was especially nice of you."

"Were you even _thinking_ when you came out here?" Holly demanded, ignoring him yet again. "Do you understand what you've gotten yourself – what you've gotten _me_ – into?"

"I'm beginning to, yes."

Holly shook her head angrily. "For someone so incredibly smart, you're so incredibly _dense_." Before Artemis could argue, she called to Neala. "Watch your six! She's coming in fast!"

Artemis glanced behind them only to feel his heart skip a beat. Caoilainn had her own pair of Marabou Stork wings, which were pumping quickly. Her arms were outstretched and her long, claw-like nails were threatening to dig into Artemis' toes. "Hey, Holly? If you could avoid letting my body become a scratching post for a giant bird-cat, that would be splendid!"

Despite their previous arguments, Holly would never let something happen to Artemis maliciously. The wings soon picked up a noticeable amount of speed and, soon enough, they were a few feet in front of Neala and Butler. "Where are we going?" Holly demanded of Neala.

"Not sure," Neala was justifiably distracted, trying to kick at Caoilainn while keeping level. "I have a funny feeling that we won't get anywhere without dealing with Tweedle Dee, here." Caoilainn's lips contorted into and angry snarl, her sharp teeth glinting in the setting sun. "Get the kid somewhere safe – We'll deal with Caoilainn when you get back."

"We?" Butler looked up at Neala with wide eyes. "When did we agree on _that_?"

"When you agreed to follow that kid all the way out here!" Neala snapped, then to Holly: "_Get him to safety_!" The Dryud's wings pumped harder and she was soon passing Holly, who was evidentially having some issues with being ordered around by a Neala.

A sharp pain shot up Artemis' left leg, forcing him to let out a yelp of pain. It felt like Holly was slowing down – But it truly didn't take long for Artemis to realize what was really happening. Caoilainn had Artemis by the ankle, her nails digging fairly deep into his flesh. "Holly!" He cringed, kicking at Caoilainn's face with his free foot. The Dryud ignored it, undeterred by a human's futile attempts to free itself. She brought her other hand down onto his calf, making him gasp sharply again. "_Holly_!" Artemis spat in pain, still trying to kick at Caoilainn. "Holly, she's using me as a _bloody rope_!" He exclaimed.

Almost as soon as he'd spoken, Caoilainn let go of his ankle and dug her nails into his thigh. Before Artemis could even react to it, he watched a shockingly bright light slam into Caoilainn's face. Immediately, she let go of Artemis' leg and went tumbling through the air in a ball of feathers and blonde hair.

Pressing his hands onto the wound on his thigh, Artemis muttered under his breath and trough ground teeth: "Thanks… I think…" Holly said nothing and holstered her Nutrino Blaster.

But they were still slowing down. "What's going on?" Artemis demanded as they sunk towards the tree tops.

"I don't know," Holly was trying to stay calm. "My wings are either malfunctioning or that freak damaged them… Either way, I can't fix it in the air." There was a slight pause before she said: "You might want to curl into a ball or something; we're in for a very crashy ride."

Before Artemis had the chance to even try to curl up in the fetal position, a full frontal attack of leaves, twigs and branches bombarded upon him. He lifted his arms in front of his face, trying desperately hard to protect his eyes, though it left the rest of his body exposed. He heard the sound of his blazer tearing, evidently caught on a particularly stubborn branch. His pants tore, too – Luckily, it was nowhere that could prove to create an awkward moment in any social convention.

A thick branch hit him square in the chest, smacking the breath right out of him and possibly fracturing a rib. Not too long after, the same thing happened to him again and then to Holly, who only let out a grunt of pain. Artemis felt Holly unstrapping him from the belt as they fell – That was possibly the one thing that prevented him from breaking any bones when they hit the ground.

Before he knew it, the forest floor was right there, barely five feet away from them. By then, it was too late to react.

They both hit the ground with a considerable impact and rolled across the dusty dirt and grass. Artemis hit a tree and Holly rolled to a stop on her own.

"Oh, sweet Frond…" Holly moaned in pain, pulling her helmet off and tossing it to the ground. Twigs, small branches and leaves fell after them. "I am not doing _that_ again…" She muttered, shaking her auburn hair back into place.

Artemis rolled onto his back, holding his arms over his chest in pain. "I feel like I just went ten rounds in a cage match with a bear…" He breathed, still trying to capture his breath.

"So much for getting you to safety," Holly got to her feet, using a tree to stay upright. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, I think…"

"You look ridiculous…" Holly unlatched the wings and set them on the ground before somehow making her way over to Artemis. "I mean, really." She held out her hand for him.

"I just managed to fall through a thick forest without spearing myself on a tree branch," Artemis muttered, taking her hand and letting her pull him to his feet. "Honestly? I could care less about how I look, right now." He cringed in pain. "Yep… Definitely fractured a rib…" He nodded to her wings. "Can you fix them?"

"I can try, but it might take some time… and I'm not entirely sure on the amount of time we actually have, right now." Holly was already back to her wings, sitting down with them in her hands. "It looks like she got at them with those freakishly long nails of hers…"

Artemis pulled his blazer off walked over to where Holly sat, joining her on the forest floor. "She got at my leg with them, too." He pulled his left pant leg up, revealing three separate sets of gouges that leaked scarlet liquid. He tore at the blazer, creating strips of cloth which he tied around the wounds. It was already torn beyond aesthetic use – No point in wasting a perfectly good bandaging resource when he needed it.

"Any ideas?"

Artemis looked up from his leg. "Pardon?" He asked as innocently as he could.

Irritably, Holly repeated herself. "_Any ideas_?" She didn't look up from her wings. "On how to stop that Dryud and get Mud Mountain back?" When Artemis didn't answer, Holly sighed and looked at him incredulously. "Come on, I know you have something. The world would have to be _ending_ for you to not have any ideas… And even then…"

"Well…" Artemis pulled his pant leg down, satisfied that his makeshift bandages were to-the-book. "I do have _one_ idea…"

* * *

><p>"Hold on a second, will you?" Butler yelled up to Neala, feeling only a little bit ill from all the twists and turns they were making. "What about Artemis? Are we just going to leave him back there?"<p>

"If you wanna live to see him another day, you should probably stop questioning me!" Neala retorted, jerking out of Caoilainn's way. "He'll be fine – We need to worry about our own lives, right now." She had barely broken a sweat, but she was still seemingly having some issues. "Can you get to your guns?"

"Can you hold me with one hand?"

"Do you want to test it?"

"Then the answer you're looking for is 'no'."

Butler heard a whistling as Caoilainn's nails whizzed past his ear. "Whoa!" He jerked his body to the side, pulling Neala that direction, too. "Too close of a call, for me! Can we go any faster on this ride?"

"Not with _you_ on board, big guy!" Neala shot a kick at Caoilainn, actually managing to hit her in the gut. The smaller Dryud fell behind them a few feet, giving Butler just enough room to land his own kick on the girl's face.

Caoilainn suddenly let out a grunt that was a mixture between surprise and pain. She craned her head to look over her shoulder, refusing to slow her pace. Neala mirrored her and Butler lifted his chin to look around the mass of feathers.

A slim LEP soldier was just behind Caoilainn, one arm extended and gripping a Nutrino Blaster tightly. They were jetting through the air uniformly, their legs together, their toes pointed, their free arm tucked to their side. "Are you OK, Mud Mountain?" The soldier yelled just loud enough to be heard. Butler recognized the voice as Trouble Kelp.

"_I_ am," Butler called back, relieved to hear a familiar voice.

"Good," Was all Trouble answered with before pulling the trigger on the Nutrino Blaster repeatedly, not missing a single shot. Caoilainn bucked with each shot, falling more and more behind. Eventually, Trouble was given enough leeway to catch up to Neala. "I'll take it from here, Dryud." The fairy ordered sharply. "I'm going to hook him onto my Moonbelt – It's obvious that she's trying to get to you, so I'll leave you two to duke things out."

"Go for it, little man." Neala didn't even try to argue. "Make it quick."

Trouble lowered himself to Butler's level, expertly hooking him onto his Moonbelt. When he was satisfied that the bodyguard _wouldn't_ fall to his gruesome and untimely death, he called for Neala to let go.

Trouble lowered a bit under Butler's weight when Neala did let get, but regained his height and speed, turning around and abandoning the Dryuds.

"Did Holly send you?" Butler called over the wind, far too relieved to see the soldier.

"No," Trouble was perfectly on target, not swerving in the slightest or letting anything distract him. "It wasn't Holly. It was Artemis."


	11. She Tried, She Failed, She'll Try Again

**Chapter Ten**

Valkyrie and Skulduggery ran through the dense forest, struggling against the overgrowing plants and finding routes that wouldn't trap them.

But no matter how fast they ran, they knew the vampire was gaining on them, and gaining _fast_.

Glancing behind her, and almost running into a tree, Valkyrie was aware of the vampire's proximity to her. Aine's ragged claws were inches from Valkyrie's back, giving her yet another reason to thank Ghastly for the clothes. "She's _right_ behind us," She panted as she vaulted over a fallen log, stumbling, and regaining her balance rather ungracefully. "Got any plans?"

"Well, we could run," Skulduggery wasn't out of breath, of course. "Or we could fight a vampire in a forest. What would you rather do?"

"Can 'none of the above' be an answer?"

The vampire snarled behind her in response.

There was a tiny, moss-covered clearing in which they emerged, their feet sinking into the spongy grass. Skulduggery had no problem with it, as he barely weighed anything, but Valkyrie was struggling through it. Before she knew it, the vampire had barreled into her, knocking her down. It repeatedly tried clawing her rib cage open, failing only because of the jacket Valkyrie wore. Confused, it, made a motion that suggest it was going to her throat with its terrifyingly-sharp claws.

"Get off me!" Valkyrie spat through cringed teeth, pressing her hands against its chest and snapping her palms into it. It flung off of her, hitting the foliage outside the tiny clearing and rolling ungracefully to its feet, stumbling.

Without looking back, Valkyrie turned and continued in the direction they were running. Skulduggery had stopped ahead when he realized she wasn't following anymore. "Are you OK?"

"Fine…" Valkyrie muttered, breathing hard. "I just want to get out of here in one piece."

Skulduggery hadn't made any move to continue. "Didn't you notice anything strange about that?"

"Anything strange about a vampire that was tossed to sea coming back to life and trying to kill me? No, not at all."

His eye sockets were fixed on the vampire as it pelted after the pair. "It didn't try to bite you," Skulduggery muttered thoughtfully, as if working something out in his brain. "It didn't go for your bare skin the first chance it had, either…"

Valkyrie stopped running, but was taking a couple steps back as the vampire neared. "Maybe she didn't want to kill me just yet," She suggested quickly, making a gesture to Skulduggery that they should get moving. He ignore her, of course.

"Even _she_ lost control of her own motives when she had turned," Skulduggery raised his palm and, before her claws made contact with his immaculately tailored suit, snapped it out at Aine, sending it flying again. He watched her stumble and fall back into the moss, tilting his skull curiously.

"So that's _not_ Aine?" Valkyrie stopped moving back, peering at the vampire that was getting to its feet unsurely in the spotty moss. It sure _looked_ like Aine…

Skulduggery reached into his rib cage without a word and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Valkyrie watched as he jumped after the vampire, dodged a dangerously close swipe, and almost fell back into the moss. The vampire seemed to have regained its balance and was going for Skulduggery's neck – Watching it a little closer (and not running from it), Valkyrie could see movements she wouldn't have seen in Aine's fighting styles. And it obviously didn't understand that Skulduggery wouldn't exactly be killed by just a slash to the neck.

Brushing its hand away, Skulduggery moved lightly to the side, sending the vampire into a tree. When it turned and faced him, he delivered a swift punch to its jaw, and sent Aine crumbling to the forest floor. Calmly, Skulduggery snapped the cuffs around its pale wrists and looked over at Valkyrie. "Yes. It's not Aine."

* * *

><p>Neala let the fairy-boy take Butler off her hands, and now she was staring Caoilainn down intensely. The older Dryud had her short swords out, and was gripping the leather-bound hilts tightly. They both had a tense moment of silence before Neala spoke. "You know this isn't going to work, right?" She growled, not letting her height fall below Caoilainn's in the air. "We've beat Aine before – We can do it again. And it's not like you're any challenge…"<p>

Caoilainn tilted her head. "Why would you say that?"

"Because you had to resort to using vampires as bodyguards,"

"And _you_ had to resort to using humans to fetch your oh-so-dear Ena,"

"I'm giving you a warning, here." Neala snarled angrily. "If you leave now and never show your face in Ireland again, I _promise_ I won't kill you today."

"God, you're so melodramatic… Can't you learn to have a little fun?"

"One last chance…"

"I think I'll pass."

Neala sighed irritably, as if this was a chore she was suddenly burdened with. "Fine – Whatever you say, Caoilainn." In the blink of an eye, she was in front of the younger Dryud, her short sword flashing and glinting against the sunlight. Caoilainn dodged the first swipe, but botched the second and jumped back in the air as her belly was sliced open.

Blood dripped down into the forest below them. Neala reminded herself that she had to get rid of that stench, later – She hated the smell of treasonous blood.

Going in for the kill, Neala pushed against the air with her wings and ducked under Caoilainn, twirling her weapons before driving them into the girl's back. With a grunt of conviction, she twisted the short swords and pushed them through to Caoilainn's chest, their scarlet-stained tips glinting in the sunlight.

Caoilainn should be dying. She should be falling from the air. She should be dead in a matter of seconds, but she was still in the air. Neala frowned as Caoilainn turned and smacked her out of place, sending her stumbling through the air. Clumsily falling into a stance in the air, Neala stared up at Caoilainn and watched as the girl's body started healing itself.

Immediately, Neala knew something wasn't right. She quickly sheathed her bloodied swords and pulled something that brightly reflected the setting sun out of the pocket of her coat. Handcuffs. She'd swiped them from Skulduggery while they were fighting.

She pickpocketed him when he was annoying.

Caoilainn noticed the cuffs and shot at Neala, her nails barely missing the Coterie Leader's jugular. She kicked out in frustration, hitting Neala's knee. It buckled inwards, a horrible cracking sound filling the silence. Neala grunted, and almost dropped the handcuffs. She managed to fumble and grip them, keeping the close to her chest with both hands. The little magic left in her body set to work at healing her knee, but it was barely enough to keep her going.

Furious, Neala lashed out at Caoilainn. Her hands chopped down on the sides of Caoilainn's neck. Caoilainn resisted the first attempt at being neutralized. Knowing what Neala was trying to do, she easily dodged the attack and reached for the handcuffs.

With a huff of determination, Neala ducked to the side when Caoilainn tried to attack her again, and tried to momentarily disable the girl again – This time, she aimed for the wings. Neala gripped the handcuffs by the chain between her teeth, bunched her hands into a fist, and drove them down hard onto Caoilainn's little wings. The treasonous Dryud let out a yelp of surprise and starting falling. Neala anticipated it early and was already streaking down towards the forest floor, gracefully dodging branches and leaves that were in her way.

Landing on the forest floor, Neala brushed the shoe mark off her poor knee. "I can't believe she kicked my knee in," She sighed in disappointment. "Talk about a kick below the belt…"

The sound of branches snapping told her that Caoilainn was on her way. Neala stepped to the side and put her hands on her hips as she waited for the girl to hit the ground, and, when she did, Neala chopped the sides of her neck again, this time successfully stunning her. Gripping the younger Dryud by her bleach-blond hair and violently snapping the cuffs on her wrists, Neala gave her a swift punch to the jaw – Just for good measures. Not letting go of her hair, Neala muttered darkly under her breath and ventured off to find Skulduggery, dragging the unconscious Caoilainn in the dirt and foliage behind her.

* * *

><p>Trouble Kelp landed on the ground beside Holly Short, shooting a stiff nod at Artemis before unhooking Butler from his Moonbelt. Butler was staring at Artemis with wide eyes, his jaw locked tightly, and Artemis realized how battered and beat he must look. "Oh, don't worry, Butler," Artemis waved his old friend off airily. "We only fell through the canopy. I'll survive."<p>

When Trouble managed to unhook Butler, the bodyguard rushed over to his charge. "Any broken bones?" He demanded immediately.

"A rib or two, I think, but it's fine… Holly unhooked me before we hit the ground, so no real damage was done."

Butler whipped around and faced Trouble. "Fix him," He growled, his voice low and cold.

Trouble pulled his visor up and looked at Butler in shock. "Excuse me?"

"Fix his ribs."

"I came here to save you from a Dryud, not heal the Mud Boy!" Trouble growled angrily.

"Fix his ribs, Trouble…" Holly called over her shoulders, her eyes fixated on the wings she was fixing.

"Why don't you?" Trouble hissed indigently. "You're the one who wanted to be here in the first place!"

Holly still didn't look up. "Because I need to save what magic I have left. I'm running low, and I don't know how much longer the Mud Boy is going to need my help."

Trouble stared at everyone in awe – Even Artemis, who was watching the fairy curiously, his brow knitted together and his lips jutting out thoughtfully. The LEP soldier looked like he wanted to argue. His mouth opened, then quickly snapped shut and he sighed irritably. He reluctantly stepped forward and pressed his palms against Artemis' chest. Seconds later, faint lines of electricity snapped across the surface of his hands, and Artemis could feel a warmth in his chest and his legs as his wounds healed.

Not long after, Trouble pulled his hands away and shot a sour glare at Holly. "Need anything else?" He growled dryly.

"Nope. Thanks for the help, Trouble…" Holly was closing the back of her wings. "You can go whenever you want."

"Frond stop me…" Trouble muttered under his breath, and sighed loudly. Hesitantly and grudgingly, he added: "If you people need any more help…" He awkwardly gestured to Holly, who was now on her feet and strapping her wings back on. "Just… call for me. I know you're dealing with Dryud's, and they're a tricky bunch. I can bring reinforcements."

"Yes, thank you for that, Trouble." Holly rolled her eyes. "Go back to the Lower Elements, now? No need for you to get killed, too."

Glaring at her once more, Trouble flicked his visor over his face, his wings starting up. Heartbeats later, he disappeared and Artemis knew that he was probably gone within seconds.

Butler looked back at Artemis. "OK… Now what?"

"I'm not sure," Artemis untied the makeshift bandages that were on his leg and thigh. "It might be a good idea to go find Mr. Pleasant and his partner." He let the bandages fall to the ground. "And it would probably be an even better idea to leave this forest altogether before it gets dark. I haven't a clue in the foggiest where that vampire could be, and I really don't want to run into it."

Holly properly strapped her wings on and tested to see if they were working. Satisfied, she looked over at Artemis and Butler. "Then let's get back into the air."

* * *

><p>Skulduggery Pleasant was leaning against a refurbished 1954 Bentley R-Type Continental. It was a beauty of a car, not a scratch on it. Artemis stared at this car in awe, ignoring Valkyrie and the detective, and abandoning Butler and Holly for it. He didn't dare touch its polished shell, but he admired it closely. He didn't even notice the vampire in handcuffs that was on the ground beside the car.<p>

"Do you like it?" Skulduggery asked as Artemis passed him for the second time.

Artemis nodded and quickly snapped out of his dazed, almost tripping over the vampire. He looked down at it and stumbled back in surprise. "Not to alarm you people," Artemis said slowly. "But there's a handcuffed vampire here…"

"Turns out that's not even a vampire," Valkyrie said casually. "We're going to take it back to the Sanctuary to keep it under lock down."

"Where's Caoilainn?" Skulduggery asked the group.

Holly shrugged. "We kind of lost track of her with all the crashing and hurting and pain that just happened."

"So none of you know where she is?"

"I last saw her with Neala," Butler chimed in awkwardly.

"Damnit," Vakyrie sighed from behind Skulduggery. To the detective, she said: "They could be _anywhere_ by now."

"Do you think Neala can handle Caoilainn alone?" Artemis asked.

"She should be fine," Skulduggery turned to his car, pulling keys out of his pocket and unlocking the doors with the press of a button. "In the meanwhile, we need to get Aine, or whoever this is, to the Sanctuary before it wakes up." He fixed his eye sockets on Artemis. "Are you going to ride with us, or are you staying with your friend?"

"Why?" Artemis asked almost coldly. "So you can hand me into the magical authorities at the Sanctuary?"

"No-oo…" Skulduggery said slowly, dipping his head for emphasis.

"I really don't believe you."

"Fine. Follow us to the boundaries of Roarhaven and wait for us." He turned to Valkyrie. "You have to sit in the back of the Bentley." Skulduggery nodded to the vampire, which was stirring. "It gets shotgun."

Valkyrie glared before stalking to her side of the car, opening the backseat door, and sat down heavily, slamming the door shut. After a moment, Skulduggery looked over at Artemis. "She's just upset because she almost died," He said cheerily.


	12. Also, He Has Three Toes

**Chapter Eleven**

Skulduggery and Valkyrie entered the Sanctuary with the vampire in front of them. The Cleavers didn't try anything, but sorcerers' eyes widened and they flinched as the trio passed. They headed for the prison cells and nobody questioned it – They all knew who and what it was. Or, at least, thought they knew, anyways.

Ghastly noticed them immediately, and rushed alongside Skulduggery. "Mind explaining _this_?" He gestured to the vampire that scuffled in front of them.

"It's a vampire."

"… Yes. A vampire in _handcuffs_."

"Ah, forgot about that part. Yes, it _is_ a vampire in handcuffs."

"It's _Aine_,"

"I thought so, but I'm second-guessing that deduction."

"And why is that?"

"Because it didn't try to bite Valkyrie."

Ghastly followed them into the cell room, watching as they pushed the surprisingly-cooperative vampire into a cell, locking the door behind it. "How did you even manage to get it in handcuffs…?"

"How do I manage to do anything?" Skulduggery handed the key to Ghastly. "I'm just amazing."

"But seriously, how did you do it?"

"I told you, I'm just amazing."

"How did you get it to comply with what you were saying?"

"I'm _amazing_, Ghastly. Let's just leave it at that."

Valkyrie peered into the cell and frowned. "Skulduggery…" She was faintly away that she had tugged at the detective's sleeve. "Can I have you look at this…?"

Skulduggery stopped gloating and turned to look into the cell.

A man sat on the little bench, one leg cross eloquently over the other. Looking to be in his mid-twenties, he had shoulder-length, brown, curly hair, smooth, tanned skin, and a distinct facial structure. He was staring at the group with a pair of misty silver eyes, shaking his three-toed foot impatiently. Eventually, he pursed his lips and lifted his shoulders to his ears, raising his thick eyebrows. He held his hands out, which were still bound with the handcuffs. "Oops…?" He shot an awkward smile at them.

* * *

><p>"My name is Ardon," The mysterious Brazilian explained willingly. He, Skulduggery, Valkyrie, and Ghastly were in one of the interrogation rooms in the Sanctuary. "And, obviously, I'm not a vampire." He rolled his eyes at Ghastly in specific. "My brother's name is Aedon. We're shape-shifters. We also happen to be freelance Hit-men."<p>

Valkyrie watched him with curious eyes from where she sat in the other metal chair, remembering one of the first times she had gone to see Ghastly. Skulduggery said something about shape-shifters, but he didn't go into detail. She didn't know what she expected, but she knew it wasn't _this_.

"What brings you all the way to Ireland, then?" Skulduggery was standing close to the table, and Ghastly was standing close to the door.

"We had a job," Ardon shrugged casually. He seemed very relaxed for someone in shackles.

"And that job is…?"

Ardon grinned wickedly. "We were commissioned to kill you, her –" He nodded to Valkyrie. "– the Dryud Coterie whose territory you were in, and the two humans you had with you."

"Why am I not surprised…?" Ghastly muttered under his breath. Skulduggery remained silent and still. Ghastly, taking control of the questioning, crossed his strong arms across his chest and stared down at Ardon. "Who sent you?"

The shape-shifter's thick brows knitted together. "Customers value discretion. I've made an oath to keep their identity a secret."

"Well, you'd better _un_make it," Ghastly growled. "You no longer have the upper hand. You can't afford to keep their identity a secret, anymore."

Ardon simply smiled, his friendly eyes warm. "Sorry – I just can't help you."

The room went silent. Valkyrie could feel the anger building up around her.

Skulduggery was suddenly snapped back to the situation. He turned to Valkyrie and Ghastly. "Can you guys handle the rest of the questioning?"

Ghastly frowned. "Why?"

"I need to do something," Skulduggery was already leaving the room. "When you're done, Valkyrie, go with the fairy to look for Neala and Aedon."

"You're not taking me with you?" Valkyrie started to get up, but was waved off by Skulduggery, who muttered something of detective experience before he closed the door behind him. Valkyrie stared after him, feeling a little abandoned. Actually, a _lot_ abandoned.

"If it makes you feel any better," Ardon leaned forward, looking at Valkyrie as she turned back to face him. "I can apologize."

It took all over her willpower to not punch his face in.

Instead, she just smiled back at him. "I'm having a very bad day – Don't take it personally. I woke up to it." She got to her feet. "But you're not helping. So trust me when I say it would not be a pilgrimage to hurt you while you're cut off from your magic."

"Aw, don't be like that. I'm actually a good guy – I just do bad things. You can understand that, right?"

Valkyrie pursed her lips as she slowly moved to the other side of the table, so that she was staring at the back of his head. "If you're such a good guy, then you wouldn't mind telling us who your client is."

He leaned back in his chair, a coy smile on his lips. "_That's_ cute,"

"Then _I_ must be adorable," Ghastly cut in, his tone a warning to Ardon. "Because I want to know who it is, where they are, and why they wanted to kill these people."

The shape-shifter shrugged. "We didn't ask. We don't really care about the story behind it. We just want to get the job done."

"Where's your brother?"

"If he's any kind of smart, he's probably killed your little Dryud friend and is looking for the humans and the fairies.

"So he's still in Ireland?"

"Obviously,"

"Good. Now, can you quickly get out of your seat?"

"… Why?"

"Just do it, or I'll let Valkyrie hit you."

Ardon stared at him suspiciously. It took him a moment, but he did as he was told, almost knocking the chair over as he did so.

"Valkyrie!" Ghastly called urgently, jumping away from the shape-shifter, his hands in front of him. "He's making an attempt on my life! Do something!"

Unable to resist grinning, Valkyrie gripped Ardon's shoulder, twirled him around and drew her fist back. Without hesitation, she smacked him right in the nose, and he fell back onto the table, clutching his face. Valkyrie looked up at Ghastly, shaking her hand off. It hurt, but it was worth it. "Thanks," She smiled graciously.

"No problem,"

Ardon was still on the table, his knees pulled up to his chest and his hands over his nose, a burgandy blood leaking from between his fingers. "God, you guys suck…" He spat from behind his wrists. "You're like Bad Cop and Even Worse Cop. I've been treated better in Death Row…"

Ghastly ignored Ardon and opened the door for Valkyrie. She smiled at him again and walked out of the room, feeling just a little bit more satisfied than she was fifteen minutes ago. Heading for the Sanctuary exit, Valkyrie ran into Ravel. Literally. He was jogging down the hallway and crashed into Valkyrie. His golden eyes were wide when he saw realized it was her. "Valkyrie!" He sounded relieved, though he looked quite stressed. "Skulduggery told me what happened before he left. Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," She looked at him with slight concern. "What about you?"

"Ugh," He let out a half-sigh-half-grunt of what sounded like exhaustion. "This boy has caused a lot of problems, for us. I've been running around the Sanctuary all day, arranging this and that..." He looked like he was reminded of something. "Geoffrey Scrutinous is here, if you wanted to stop by and say hello."

"Um… No thanks."

"Oh. Why not?"

"I have to go do something for Skulduggery,"

"OK, well… I think someone needs to say something to Scrutinous. We just kind of left him in the conference room with a Cleaver. I think he's already had a chat with it…"

"And how did that go?"

"It was more of a 'he talked and the Cleaver may have listened, but nobody actually knows for sure' kind of situation."

"Ah. One of _those_."

"So what is it Skulduggery's got you doing now? Probably something dangerous and tiresome, no doubt. Can't say I'm particularly jealous, really."

"I'm looking for Neala and the other shape-shifter."

Ravel shook his head sadly. "Has that man gone mad, sending you off alone to do something like that?"

"Apparently, I'm supposed to have a fairy with me."

"A fairy?"

"She was following the boy around, I think. I'm pretty sure that's why he was able to get into the Sanctuary – She was with him."

The Elder almost looked as if his mind was blown. "That certainly explains a lot…" They stood there in silence, Ravel nodding absently. Eventually, he blinked and looked back at Valkyrie. "Is the shape-shifter still in the interrogation room with Ghastly?"

"I hope so,"

"Then you'll have to excuse me," He pushed past Valkyrie, heading towards the door she just exited from. "I suppose we're both a little too busy to be standing around, chatting…"

She nodded understandingly and said her goodbyes before continuing on her way out of the Sanctuary. She stepped out into the stagnant air of Roarhaven, pulled her cellphone out of her pocket, stubbornly texting Skulduggery. **What the hell do you want me to do when we find Neala? Ask her to come with us? Do you want us to bring her to the Sanctuary?**

A couple minutes later, she got a reply that simply said: **Don't be counter-intuitive, Valkyrie.**

Valkyrie scowled at the text and shoved her phone back into her pocket.

"You're Valkyrie, right?"

She jumped. The town was always dead silent, so she should have heard someone walk up to her. Valkyrie faced the direction of the sneaky speaker, and took a moment to actually see them.

The fairy from earlier, Holly, was standing on the cobblestone beside Valkyrie. Her helmet was tucked under her arm, and she was looking up at Valkyrie. Holly looked angry.

"Yeah. Did Skulduggery talk to you about the plan?"

"More or less…"

"So are you ready to go?"

"It's not like I really have a choice, now, is it?"

"Well, aren't _you_ just a little bundle of joy?"

"I was just ditched for a dead guy, OK?"

"That makes two of us…" Valkyrie huffed, the frowned. "Actually, I'm usually the one ditching people for a dead guy. But I _was_ just ditched _by_ a dead guy, if that counts."

They delved into an awkward silence. Holly shifted her feet and readjusted her helmet under her arm. Valkyrie fiddled with her necromancer ring. Finally, Valkyrie decided to break the silence. "So…. You're a fairy?" Holly nodded. "Then where are your wings?"

Holly hesitated before deploying her wings. They were mechanical. Valkyrie frowned at this. "They're not real," She said, disappointed.

"Well, no…"

"So you're not a real fairy?"

"I am, we just… don't have wings built into our bodies. Especially not after we were pushed under the surface." To change the subject, Holly cleared her throat and asked: "So… what's the story with…"

"Neala?"

"Yes,"

"Long story."

"I have time,"

"You may have the time, but I don't have the patience. Let's just go find Neala, OK?"

* * *

><p>Neala walked around the man in handcuffs. He had changed back to this form while Neala was dragging him through the forest, and she immediately began interrogating him when he woke up.<p>

She drove a foot into his guts and he buckled forward, the breath being driven out of his lungs. A soft giggle ran from his lips and he looked up at Neala. "This is only going to hurt you, Dryud…"

Growling under her breath, Neala kicked him again and again. "Just tell my who sent you, and I promise I'll _stop_." She growled in his face as he laughed, struggling to catch his breath. When he didn't answer, she pointed sharply in the direction of her clearing. "People have _died_!"

Aedon, as he oh-so-kindly said his name was, snapped his head up. "That's what people _do_!" He yelled into her face. "Lives end! Hearts are broken!"

"So are bones!" Neala spat angrily and kicked his leg with all her force. His femur bone snapped like a twig. Angrily she paced away from him, punch a nearby tree – which dented considerably – then paced back to him. From her sheath, she pulled out one of her short swords, then squatted in front of Aedon. Without so much as a blink of hesitation, she drove it into his leg, just above the kneecap.

The shape-shifter grunted, then let out another round of laughter before slamming his head into the tree he leaned against and looking up at the branches above him. Neala snarled and patted his face roughly, gripped his chin, and forced him to look at her. "Pay attention," She hissed quietly. "Or I'll pop your goddamned knee off."

He looked at her with a shaky smile on his lips. "I'm listening," He said in an almost mocking tone.

"Who sent you?" She twisted the blade.

Aedon barely managed to not cringe. "… A pixie."

"Name," She demanded.

"Can't say…"

She twisted the blade more. "_Name._"

Veins in the man's neck stood out, looking like they'd burst, and he put a strained smile on his face. It took a moment for him to spit out his words. "I can't tell you the name… but I can tell you the signature."

Neala contemplated this, then pulled the short sword out of his leg. "Fine. What's their signature?"

"… First name O, last name K…" He laughed painfully, his leg healing.

"Good," Neala stood, sheathing her bloodied short sword. "Now was that so hard?"


End file.
